Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)

[Remaugen]

News flash,
To counter the missing chat system, all players will have access to the alphabet emote.
So /em A will result in your toon holding a cardboard sign with the letter A on it.
PC Gaming Online heralded this workaround as nothing short of brilliant.

There still isn't a good workaround for the missing pants costume files.
The two ideas on the table are, extend the height of the boots or unlock skirts for male and huge toons.  Neither idea has been approved.

Rocks!

Spoiler for Hidden:

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in;
It turns out that the phrase, "We want to buy the game" in Korean, if the accents are misplaced sounds a lot like the phrase, "Your daughter is very pleasing to us".

This seems to be a source of confusion and contention, especially since the daughter of the lead on the NCSoft team is six years of age.

[Paragon Avenger]

Korean translation of the proposal:

THeM:  Honorable Sir,
Your daughter is very pleasing to us.  We are prepared to offer $1 million.

NCSoft:  No sale!

[Nyx Nought Nothing]

Korean translation of the proposal:

THeM:  Honorable Sir,
Your daughter is very pleasing to us.  We are prepared to offer $1 million.

NCSoft:  No sale!

Actually so far it seems it's gone more like this...
THeM:  Honorable Sir,
Your daughter is very pleasing to us.  We are prepared to offer $1 million.

NCSoft:  Give us proof you can supply proper care and we will consider it.

[Eoraptor]

Recent news of Marvel relaunching it's Secret Wars and Civil War franchise events has given inspiration to the THeM team. Plans are now in place to reenact the great Tank Nerf at relaunch

[Shifter]

That video of CoH in alpha or beta is pretty cool. Is there a wiki or some place you could link to learn more information about it?
I would love to see what the 40 zones/ 36 square miles were and what the 7 origin types were.

That is the only thing I've personally seen that old.

You sort of love to hate it.  It's like watching a car wreck.

*cackles*

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,
City of Heroes will t relaunched on April 1st, 2015.
Everyone will assume that it's a prank, and nobody will play it.
CoH will lose so much money that the game will be shut down again.

Great, even I hate me for that one.

[Feign]

It's like watching a car wreck.

Just as a little side note, I just can't look at a car wreck, I always feel like it's me in it when I'm approaching, and I feel so awful about being looked at, that I can't look.

I can't be the only person that gets like that, right?

[Paragon Avenger]

I can't be the only person that gets like that, right?

Probably not, but most people look out of morbid curiosity.  Although not to see blood and guts, but to see how that car got twisted like that.  Kind of like NASCAR.

[Joshex]

I wonder if game companies in Korea are as racist as some Japanese companies, last time I talked with Nintendo about a development job position (the "I'll take any grunt job, 3D modeller ETC. just let me in the door") they proceeded to inform me something I already knew "all our dev positions are in japan" and then topped that off with " things would be different if you lived here" to which I made several comments 1: I'm willing to relocate, to which they hinted that I should be born Japanese instead. 2: what about retro studios? to which they gave the silent treatment and changed the topic.

this could be related to our problems with NCSoft. oh wait this thread is for fake news, well it's fake I guess until someone confirms it. Paranoia for the win!

[Paragon Avenger]

The new City of Heroes licensing company has just announced that they have licensed CoH to Disney for an undisclosed amount of money.
Disney plans to release a feature film of animated City of Heroes task forces.
They are planning a 7 movie set, one for each of the 6 principle task forces.
The working title is "Task Force Commanders".

[Paragon Avenger]

This just announced, the entire "Where Have All The Heroes Gone" fan fiction series will be turned into a live action TV series.  Big royalty checks will start to pour into my bank account until I get sued by the CoH licensing company.
As Super Fire Dragon might say, "I nearly had $Cheese of my own."

[Joshex]

Update: (October 24th) NCSoft's president declared he will sell the game if more realism is added to all the in-game statues to include a drip-stained plastering of pigeon feces. 

[Taceus Jiwede]

Just as a little side note, I just can't look at a car wreck, I always feel like it's me in it when I'm approaching, and I feel so awful about being looked at, that I can't look.

I can't be the only person that gets like that, right?

Yah I am this way too.  But if I have to look I can disconnect my self from it.  If I have too.  I think its good to look at the way you do, seems very empathetic.

Also this just in.  NCSoft has canceled all talks and decided to reopen, change the name of the game to "City of Zeroes."  In this new release you will play an average citizen.  Instead of missions and task forces there "will be going to work" and "company retreats".  Company retreats will require team work, and will challenge you and your friends as you have to deal with: Working together to Maximize synergy, Not drinking too much so you don't embarrass yourself, and making sure your co-workers help support your alibi that you used for an extra hour away from home!  Around level 40-60 you can retire depending on how many sick days and vacation days you saved up.  Serious advanced players will be able to buy into their retirement fund.

[Super Firebug]

Yah I am this way too.  But if I have to look I can disconnect my self from it.  If I have too.  I think its good to look at the way you do, seems very empathetic.

But it would prevent you from being able to offer assistance, even if you otherwise could help.

Also this just in.  NCSoft has canceled all talks and decided to reopen, change the name of the game to "City of Zeroes."  In this new release you will play an average citizen.  Instead of missions and task forces there "will be going to work" and "company retreats".  Company retreats will require team work, and will challenge you and your friends as you have to deal with: Working together to Maximize synergy, Not drinking too much so you don't embarrass yourself, and making sure your co-workers help support your alibi that you used for an extra hour away from home!  Around level 40-60 you can retire depending on how many sick days and vacation days you saved up.  Serious advanced players will be able to buy into their retirement fun.

Yay! We'll get to experience what it's like to walk into the office building on Monday morning, and see the aftermath of the heroes-v-villains fight that happened Sunday night! (I always imagined the janitor having a coronary at the thought of having to clean up after something like that.) I've wondered, though: why don't the fire-users ever set off the building's sprinkler/halon system?

[Paragon Avenger]

News flash:

All of the player characters created by City of Heroes MMO gamers have used "Portal Corp." to transport themselves into reality.
They are invading Rhode Island and are heading toward Providence, R.I.
Nobody knows how are why this is happening.
A four foot tall golden dragon wearing a blue toga was quoted as saying, "This is bad."
More as the story unfolds, unless it's stupid.

[Paragon Avenger]

This story has not been confirmed and neither party is available for comment.
Ms. Liberty and Super Fire Dragon are engaged to be married.
The wedding date is set for some time in June.
The snag, reportedly, is that the tuxedo rental store refuses to alter the tux to allow for SFD's wings.  Ms. Liberty is reported as being furious.
We repeat, this is unconfirmed.

[Nyx Nought Nothing]

In related news Tampex has announced a new ad champagne aimed at online gamers.

i...
*raises hand with pointer finger extended*
...
*puts hand back down*
i...
*raises hand halfway before shaking head and putting hand back down*
Right then, enjoy your sparkling wine.

[Paragon Avenger]

i...
*raises hand with pointer finger extended*
...
*puts hand back down*
i...
*raises hand halfway before shaking head and putting hand back down*
Right then, enjoy your sparkling wine.

You see, there were going to be commercials every so often with no way to avoid them and two annoying commercials were going to be there for sure.
Very funny stuff.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in ...
NCSoft had asked THeM to provide programming and operations expertise for the City of Heroes games.  THeM, in order to prove that they have it on the ball, submitted a superman coloring book with most of the pictures neatly colored in.
NCSoft is still reviewing the submission.