Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)

[Paragon Avenger]

Recently, I talked to some one who said, "City of What?"
There you have it, City of Heroes never existed.

[Paragon Avenger]

There is a bootleg copy of city of heroes floating around the internet.
It's called Town of Supers.
It is an exact duplicate of CoX issue 23, but somehow they got the graphics reversed.
This makes signs and billboards hard to read, but everything else seems ok.

[Paragon Avenger]

For the re-launch for City of Heroes and City of Villians, all zones will be open to heroes and villians.  The drones will not attack player characters or their pets.  The draw-back is that there will be open PvP without warning are mutual consent.  So get a villian to level 50 and go have fun in Atlas park.

[Paragon Avenger]

The entire THeM team was killed in a drive-by gang-land shooting.
Bulldog, (not his real name), said that he couldn't stand the acronym making no sense.  It should be the THaM.

Police are investigating.

[Paragon Avenger]

The new version of CoX will feature Super Fire Dragon as a friendly, helpful NPCcontact on the hero side, and an annoying jerk on the villian side.  Other characters from "Where Have All The Heroes Gone?" series of fan fiction will be included like:
The ever-interesting, but creepy Necrophillia
The professional down-to-business, Dr. X-Rays, (Xaiver Rayes, M.D.)
And many more!

[Paragon Avenger]

News flash,

City of Heroes has been relaunched!
Due to legal problems and other consideration, all player toons look like Super Fire Dragon.  Always, all player character names MUST begin with the word Super and end with the word dragon.  These two restrictions avoid tons of lawsuits brought against the original game by overly protective copyright trolls.

[Paragon Avenger]

A spokesman for City of Heroes, when asked about how the talks were coming along said, "Leave me alone you weirdo.  I have nothing to do with City of Heroes.  So stop bothering me, [expletive redacted]"

It sounds like we're close.

[Paragon Avenger]

Mayor McCheese and others gathered outside City Hall in Atlas Park, today in celebrate the welcoming back of the supers.  The city really hasn't been the same since they left, explained the Mayor.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,
Several superheroes and even some supervillains have decided to NOT return to their once beloved city.  When asked for comment, the Silent Sword stole my wallet.  I decided to be more careful and only talk to the heroes.  The City Avenger told me that a group of heroes don't feel welcome in Paragon City anymore.  "Since the lock-out, you know, we have been hanging around and stuff, you know.  Anyways, if they kicked us out once, what's going to stop them from doing it again, you know."

More as this story unfolds, and I get my wallet back!

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

President-Elect Trump has just completed his first offical act as President.  Paragon City has erected a wall around the Rikti crash site and Trump has managed to have the Rikti pay for it.  The wall, similar in design to War Walls that sepersate the city into zones, has been critized by those who know that the Rikti have teleportation capabilities as well as high flying troop transport ships.  Donald Trump was quoted as saying, "This wall will be hugh, and will make the Supers great again."

[Paragon Avenger]

This is strictly hush-hush.  You didn't hear it here, you understand.
Well, the NCSoft executives have decided to finalize the agreement with the THeM, it is only a matter of time before City of Heroes re-launch.  The plans going forward are that the re-launch will be after the first of the year, probably around Valentine's Day.  The re-launch plans include running all season/holiday events at the same time.  This last point is still being cosidered.  The City of Titans people have an agreement to stand-up a server farm and neccessary HTML web-sites in as little as 72 hours after being given the go ahead.  The other successor projects will lend manpower for the GM's and network people to keep things up and running.  The only possible problem to these plans, that might cause NCSoft to withdraw again, would be if some freak were to blab the whole deal on the Titan Forums.  So remember, you didn't hear it from me.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

The THeM team has been trying to but World of Warcraft.  When asked why, one of the THeM replied, "We might just be able to pull that one off.  NCSoft seems like a brick wall right now."  Another of THeM stated that if the World of Warcraft purchase goes through, they would incorporate superheroes into the game.  A third member of the group added, "It will be just like City of Warcraft or whatever it was called."

[Mistress Urd]

How about Heroes Online with non-consensual pvp anytime anyplace.....

nm, Eve Online is going the way of the dodo "soon" (tm)

Just wait til next year when we get CoH back!

[Paragon Avenger]

NCSoft has decided to throw caution to the wind and give the devs a completely free hand at designing the game and writing the lore, back-story and content.  At first, it was going great.  New features and powers were being added, and the game content was being filled out more and being made more complete.  And then, after morning break, the Devs came back full of Red Bull and Hostess Twinkies.  They got seriously creative.  They introduced a death-bomb that randomly killed and deleted player characters.  They made a story-arc so difficult to win that even on the lowest difficulty setting and several levels above the mission, it is un-winnable.  They added a random self-destruct into all high-level secondary powersets.  One of the devs hates controllers.  That dev hates controllers so much that there is a 35% chance that any controller will just die on a mission for no reason.  After lunch break, NCSoft pulled the plug on the free-range devs.

[Paragon Avenger]

It's time once again for The Pantless Avenger's Update:

Greetings sports fans and you as well, anyway there is no news this week.  NCSoft agreed to sell City of Heroes to the THeM, and the THeM has agreed to buy City of Heroes.  Boring, right?  The relaunch date has been set, like anybody cares.  The new server farm is just about ready, big whoop.  The new URL domain has been acquired, www.ap33.com, as if you would want to know that.  So, basically, it's a real snooze-fest here.

Positive regards.

[Angel Phoenix77]

It's time once again for The Pantless Avenger's Update:

Greetings sports fans and you as well, anyway there is no news this week.  NCSoft agreed to sell City of Heroes to the THeM, and the THeM has agreed to buy City of Heroes.  Boring, right?  The relaunch date has been set, like anybody cares.  The new server farm is just about ready, big whoop.  The new URL domain has been acquired, www.ap33.com, as if you would want to know that.  So, basically, it's a real snooze-fest here.

Positive regards.

now that was mean , I was really hoping for one day would be the day.

[kaaduu1280]

It's time once again for The Pantless Avenger's Update:

Greetings sports fans and you as well, anyway there is no news this week.  NCSoft agreed to sell City of Heroes to the THeM, and the THeM has agreed to buy City of Heroes.  Boring, right?  The relaunch date has been set, like anybody cares.  The new server farm is just about ready, big whoop.  The new URL domain has been acquired, www.ap33.com, as if you would want to know that.  So, basically, it's a real snooze-fest here.

Positive regards.

For the tiniest second, there was a spark of hope. And then I caught on...

[scope.creep]

We're not numb.

[Paragon Avenger]

now that was mean , I was really hoping for one day would be the day.

For the tiniest second, there was a spark of hope. And then I caught on...

Sorry guys, I figured that an update from "The Pantless Avenger" wouldn't be taken so seriously.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

The talks have completely fallen apart.  NCSoft insistes that they have control over the game, and the THeM insistes that NCSoft not have the power to pull-the-plug on the game ever again.  This after weeks-months-years of talks about price, and data, and marketing ownership.  This last hurdle is insurmountable.  City of Heroes is no more.

Pysch!