Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)  (Read 90128 times)

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #620 on: July 30, 2017, 03:28:20 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
Somebody recently asked me if City of Heroes is back yet?
Although I can not devulge classified information, I will say this.
If City of Heroes were back, up, and running do you really think that I would be wasting my time writing stupid completely fake news?

This has been The Pantless Report.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Tubbius

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #621 on: August 14, 2017, 02:58:29 AM »
Two weeks and some without an update?

I wonder if Paragon Avenger has reverted to wearing pants.  :(

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #622 on: August 20, 2017, 04:07:17 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
Recently, somebody asked if I would mind putting on a pair of pants of pete's sake.
I had to reply with righteous scorn.
Me?  Wear pants?  Are you mad?
Oh and City of Heroes is back.
So to re-cap,
I'm not wearing pants.

This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #623 on: August 30, 2017, 03:51:58 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
Well, I got good news and bad news
First, the good news.
City of Heroes is indeed back.
The THeN purchased offices with a server room.
The server room is full of the various equipment to manage the accounts, and run the game.
Yeah, now the bad news.
Those offices are located in Houston Texas and are currently under 12 feet of water.

This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #624 on: September 06, 2017, 12:53:30 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
I travelled back in time, by putting instant coffee in a microwave, and uncovered a plot to shut-down City of Heroes.
I returned to the present day to warn everybody, but it's a moot point now.
Enjoy the rest of the week, and keep looking up, or side to side, I forget.

This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #625 on: September 09, 2017, 06:05:54 PM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
They said that my order would be ready Friday.  Friday came and went, but my order still hasn't arrived.
I called the Customer Service Hot-Line.  After being transferred 6 times, they hung up on me.
I was so angry, my skin was turning green and my clothes were getting tight.
I think it will be a long time before I do business with that company again.

This has been The Pantless Report.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #626 on: September 15, 2017, 01:53:07 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
Because of the disaster we had in Houston, the THeM decided to stand up another server farm for City of Heroes.
You guessed it.  The new server farm is in Florida.
The way the THeM is spending money on servers and equipment, I might not be able to afford to not wear pants for very much longer.  Let's hope the next server farm location is a bit more safe and secure.

This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #627 on: October 03, 2017, 02:11:07 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
Because of the disasters we had in Houston, and in Florida, the THeM decided to stand up another server farm for City of Heroes.  You guessed it.  The new server farm is in Puerto Rico.  The way the THeM is spending money on servers and equipment, I might not be able to afford to not wear pants for very much longer.  Let's hope the next server farm location is a bit more safe and secure.

This has been The Pantless Report.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #628 on: October 06, 2017, 03:55:38 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
My inside sources have uncovered a plot by some of THeM to buy socks.  This could be a signal that the game will soonTM be back on-line, or it could be just another rouse.  Once the footwear is purchased, we should be able to determine its color.  That bit of information will be more than enough for Super Fire Dragon to engage in wild conjecture.  Here's keeping hope alive.

This has been The Pantless Report.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #629 on: October 09, 2017, 05:01:36 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
Today, I was troubled by some hate mail I received calling me a crack-pot and a nut-job.  I would have you all know that I never cracked a pot in my life.  And I like peanut-butter just as much as the next avenger, but I never have been in or employed by the nut industry.  But I understand your frustration.  Sometimes you need to make your feeling known.  Since I am help to help, no really, I will provide my contact information.  Feel free to send me your thoughts and complaints.

The Pantless Avenger
c/o CodeWalker
1 CodeWalker Drive

Thank you for your support.

This has been The Pantless Report.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #630 on: October 16, 2017, 01:45:02 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
I found out today that the THeM did indeed have a third server-farm site for hosting the MMORPG, City of Heroes/Villains/Praetorians.
That third site was located in Sonoma, CA.
Yup:
The CPU's are cooked
The Hard-Drives are melted
The memory boards are ashes
The Monitors are burnt
Here's hoping they don't setup a server farm where I live.

Feel free to send me your thoughts and complaints.

The Pantless Avenger
c/o CodeWalker
1 CodeWalker Drive

Thank you for your support.
This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

bugzee

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #631 on: October 24, 2017, 01:09:37 AM »
Source code for the City of Heroes server and client have been found and released! Here it is:
https://goo.gl/bRhLTr

Tahquitz

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #632 on: October 25, 2017, 04:28:43 AM »
Source code for the City of Heroes server and client have been found and released! Here it is:
https://goo.gl/bRhLTr


That's amazing, I didn't think NCSoft would ever give it up!
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eabrace

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #633 on: October 25, 2017, 04:59:32 PM »
That's amazing, I didn't think NCSoft would ever give it up!
Right?  I just assumed they would let us down.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #634 on: November 03, 2017, 05:28:10 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.
In an amazing twist of fate, NCSoft has agreed to reinstate City of Heroes and City of Villians.  There was some news about old MMO's could come back to life, so NCSoft decided to avoid that possiblity and bring Coh back itself.  When asked about this reversal and the possible loss-of-face, a NCSoft spokesperson said, "We never shut it down.  The game was unavailable for...server maintenance."  When asked why the server maintenance has taken nearing five years, that same spokesperson said, "Some server maintenance is more involved than others."
So there you have it, City of Heroes has been offline for nearly five years, because of server maintenance.

Feel free to send me your thoughts and complaints.

The Pantless Avenger
c/o CodeWalker
1 CodeWalker Drive

Thank you for your support.
This has been The Pantless Report.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #635 on: November 14, 2017, 03:05:08 AM »
I heard that there never was a game called City of Heroes.
Hey, without pictures, it didn't happen.

Those?  Photo-shopped obvisously.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #636 on: December 10, 2017, 10:32:08 PM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am not wearing pants.
Today it was learned that Statesman is plently angry at the lastest turn of events.  He had been the number one hero of City of Heroes, until he slipped on a banana peel, as it were.  Bouncing back from that defeat, he auditioned and got a part in a new MMO.  That "new" MMO is being scrapped.  Now Statesman is out of work and not happy about it.  Not happy at all.
So if we each donate a hun'red bucks, Statesman should be ok.

Send your donation to:

Statesman Relief Fund
c/o The Pantless Avenger
One Pantsless Drive
AnyTown, USA 42812

Thank you for your support.
This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #637 on: December 24, 2017, 08:44:06 PM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am not wearing pants.
Today it was learned that the DCMA might get re-worked in such a way to be advantegous to our cause.  Sen. DeepPockets was quotedas saying, "Well in my state, we go hunting when we need time to think through a problem.  It must be all those moose urine fumes, but I'm thinking it's NCSoft season."  This reporter believes that that means that the that bill is stalled in that there committee.

Thank you for your support.
This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #638 on: December 31, 2017, 09:32:03 PM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am not wearing pants.
Today important information about the purchase of the MMORPG "City of Heroes", so-called was discovered.  This discovery was made purely by accident.  I was at the laundry washing my pants when I over-heard a conversation.  The conversation was either about bleach, which I doubt, or about City of Heroes, which I susspect.  This news is so important that I can not share it here,  We don't know who or what might be reading this very article as we speak.  Meet in on Talos, between the train station and Wentworth's.  I'll be wearing a yellow pantsless costume.  Ask me for the time.  If the 'coast is clear', I'll reply with the weather report.  If I notice that you were followed, I'll give the correct time as I know it.  That will be your signal to go to Wentworth's and use QuickPort to leave.  Return a few minutes later.

Thank you for your support.
This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #639 on: January 14, 2018, 05:56:27 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am not wearing pants.
For the record, I warned them.  Did they listen to me, of course not.  When you walk around pantsless, people refuse to take you seriously.  Anyway, I strongly urged them to not setup another server farm in California.  They say that they want to be near silicone valley.  Or was that silicon valley, well either way.  I'm thinking South Dakota.  Well as you might have guessed, the brand new City of Heroes Server Farm, which is not the same thing as a Demon Farm I'm told, is now buried in several inches of mud.  You can't login to a server buried in mud, it just wouldn't be Cricket.

Thank you for your support.
This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?