Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)  (Read 117335 times)

Mew Mew Supercat

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #660 on: September 06, 2018, 11:53:47 PM »
You're going to laugh.
It turns out that City of Heroes wasn't shut down.
That's right, all this time we thought, "Drat!  The game is shut down", and it wasn't.
It turns out that the URL was changed.
instead of WWW.CityOfHeroes.com, it is WWW.CityOfHeroes.com/&Vilians/index.aspx

Some accounts may have been deleted due to inactivity.
>.>

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #661 on: September 07, 2018, 03:14:09 AM »
Mew Mew, which part of "Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)" did you not understand?

I know, we want the game back so bad that any shread of hope gives us something to cling to.
But no the game was shut-down for no good reason, and the game's owner doesn't want to bring it back.  We are stuck.

P.S.  I actually wear pants.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #662 on: September 12, 2018, 01:38:07 AM »
The THeM Report, with that THeM, Tommy or whatever his name is ...

Hello sports fans, and welcome to the first installment of TheTHeM Report.
It has been a busy week.
Sunday, went shopping for pants.
Monday, ran the vaccuumn cleaner over all the carpets.
Tuesday, re-organized the bill filing system, it was a real mess.
Wednesday, found the mate to my green socks, I'll be ready on Saint Patrick's Day now.
Thursday, mowed the lawn.
Friday, fixed the sink and changed the batteries in the smoke detectors.
Saturday, mailed NC Soft yet another letter begging for the rights to purchase City of Heores.  This time I underlined "please", that should get their attention.

When things stop being so hetic around here, maybe I can get some work done.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Taceus Jiwede

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #663 on: September 12, 2018, 10:27:47 PM »
The THeM Report, with that THeM, Tommy or whatever his name is ...

Hello sports fans, and welcome to the first installment of TheTHeM Report.
It has been a busy week.
Sunday, went shopping for pants.
Monday, ran the vaccuumn cleaner over all the carpets.
Tuesday, re-organized the bill filing system, it was a real mess.
Wednesday, found the mate to my green socks, I'll be ready on Saint Patrick's Day now.
Thursday, mowed the lawn.
Friday, fixed the sink and changed the batteries in the smoke detectors.
Saturday, mailed NC Soft yet another letter begging for the rights to purchase City of Heores.  This time I underlined "please", that should get their attention.

When things stop being so hetic around here, maybe I can get some work done.

You fool!  Everyone knows you need to underline, bold, and italic! You've doomed us all!

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #664 on: September 22, 2018, 03:29:27 AM »
This is a World of Warcraft Report:

Here at WoW, evertything is great.  Players can grind their way to level 88 will ease.
And the best part, we don't have a ostrobogulous corporate owner just looking for any excuse to pull-the-plug.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #665 on: October 04, 2018, 04:13:17 AM »
The THeM Report, with that THeM, Tommy or whatever his name is ...

Hello sports fans, and welcome to this installment of The THeM Report.
It has been a busy week.

Sunday, ate lunch with a guy who says that he knows a guy who can get us in to talk to the big cheese at NCSoft.

Monday, drafted a memo detailing the adgenda items that we might want to cover in our meeting with the big cheese at NCSoft.

Tuesday, schedulled a meeting with all the THeM team members to discuss my drafted adgenda.

Wednesday, ordered snacks and beverages for the THeM team meeting.

Thursday, went through the adgenda draft again, remember proof-read, proof-read, proof-read.

Friday, held the meeting with the THeM team members, went over draft of adgenda, still found a typo.

Saturday, the guy I had lunch with on Sunday was just pulling my leg, the jerk.

So as you can tell, we are working night and day to get "City of Warcraft" or whatever it was called back for you..
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #666 on: October 07, 2018, 07:36:30 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
Somebody recently asked me if City of Heroes is back yet?
Although I can not devulge classified information, I will say this.
I updated SID's and have all new vidiots maps.

This has been The Pantless Report.
 
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #667 on: October 25, 2018, 02:59:37 AM »
It is time once again for ...
The Pantless Report.

Yes, ladies and gentlmen, I am not wearing pants.
Ok, I started "trick-or-treating" on City of Heroes, we do need more players.
Anyway, I had tons of fun, but I do wish there were more peeps.
I did the new "Halloween Event" it's a haunted house this year, it is kind of loney with so few of us playing.
I think they even increased the drop table frequency.
They even added a new villian class to the ghosts --- ghostlings.
I just can't figure out why more people aren't playing.
Oh, maybe it's because we are underan NDA and can't give out the URL, yeah that's it.

This has been The Pantless Report.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #668 on: November 01, 2018, 02:16:08 AM »
I went up to the door and rang the bell.
The door opened and a gray man said, "Yes."
The replied, "Trick or Treat!"
He gave me the rights to the IP that once was known as City of Heroes.
Let the bidding begin!
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #669 on: November 12, 2018, 08:35:32 PM »
And now, The Pants-less Report, A Pants-less Avenger Production of Paragon Avenger Stucios, and here he is, the star of our report...The Pants-less Avenger:

Greetings Earthlings:
     Yes, I am not wearing any pants.
I am here to inform you of recent events that took place recently.  First and foremost, City of Heroes is back up and running.  We have noticed certain changes.

The Hellions always win.
There is no way to get out of Skyway City.
Only magic users can wear armor.
There is a strange smell in Kings Row
Controllers are not allowed to go to Talos Island
All contact NPC's have been replaced with Zombies

Even with these bizarre alterations, the game is playable and still a lot of fun.  Just don't attack the clockwork, ever.

This has been the Pants-less report.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #670 on: November 29, 2018, 02:22:46 AM »
Pardon the interuption, but I thought that you might want to know that City of _______ is back, but since there is an NDA, I can't tell you to go to the third floor.  I'm sorry, but I also can't tell you to talk to Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X, in our COH department.  And I certainly can't tell you to pay her the subscription fee of $15 a month.  I'M SORRY, BUT THERE IS NO WAY THAT I CAN HELP YOU.  Have a nice day.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #671 on: December 05, 2018, 04:38:55 AM »
I know nothing!
I know nothing!
I know nothing!
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #672 on: January 16, 2019, 02:43:09 AM »
This is a story 'bout a man named Fred,
A poor CoH player whose avatars were dead.
One day while shooting at some Trolls,
NC Soft up and took away the foes.
Villians that is, real bad guys.
The first you know old Fred is offline,
His kinfolk said he would go blind.
Playing too many hours,
not taking enough showers.
Have to play CO or Wow, World of Warcraft that is.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #673 on: January 21, 2019, 04:50:06 AM »
I heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another that the game is back.
I don't think it's true, babe.  But even if it is babe, keep this in mind.
We'll have to start over, we'll take it on the run.

(I think I already did something like this before, oh well, what are they going to do, ban me from the game?)
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #674 on: January 23, 2019, 07:58:44 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

The THeM is back at trying to purchase the IP of City of Heroes.
This week, THeM made Oriental food and served it to the NCSoft executives.
With the food, THeM served fortune cookies.
The fortune cookies had messages like, "Good day to sell City of Heroes", and "You will profit from City of Heroes sale, today", even, "Sale us the friggin' game already, clods".
The NCSoft executives ate the meal and thanked the THeM politely.
After the executives left, THeM noticed that the fortune cookies were untouched.
THeM asked one of the executives about that.
NCSoft executive said that fortune cookies are silly American custom.

 "Sale us the friggin' game already, clods".
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #675 on: April 22, 2019, 01:58:18 AM »
Wow!  A lot has happened since the last ... Pantsless Report!

I AM the Pantsless Avenger, and I am not wearing pants.
Thanks to that Barry guy, or was it Tim, no, Destroyer Destoryer or whatever, the secret server existence is now known.  Everybody will want to play, even that one guy, who kept doing that thing I hate.  You know what I mean.  It was so annoying.  I asked him to stop.  Nothing.  I told him to stop.  Nothing.  I asked the team leader  to kick him, and remove him from the team.  Nothing.  I asked for the star.  Nothing.  And he still kept right on doing that thing.  It's enough to make you want to take off your pants and throw them down.
Ugh!
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #676 on: April 24, 2019, 02:06:02 AM »
Yes boys and girls, children of all ages, it is time for ... (trunpet fanfare) ... The Pantsless Report!

That's right, I am not wearing pants.
I have heard a lot of talk about some talks that people are talking about.
I for 42.7 say, "Let the talks begin!".
Who are we to stand in the way of true talk progress.  Most people I know have been talking for years.  The trick is getting them to shut up.  So if people are talking, where's the harm?  Let them talk.  In the meantime, stand up another server farm running City of Heroes.
Thank you.

I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

battlebooze

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #677 on: April 24, 2019, 08:38:52 PM »
With the news that a COH server was still running in secret, new is that a new patch will be released Friday nerfing Regeneration. 

 :o

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #678 on: April 26, 2019, 02:38:36 AM »
With the news that a COH server was still running in secret, new is that a new patch will be released Friday nerfing Regeneration. 

 :o

Actually that is not true.

They are going to nerf ALL powers to make the game more fun.
When I played Sunday night, I got to level 7 before I had to call the sandman.
The plan is that if you don't die at least three times per level, "Marty" will engage and your xp and drops will plummit.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #679 on: April 27, 2019, 03:18:22 PM »
It is time once agin for ... (trumpet fanfare) ... The Pantsless Report with your host, not mine, The Pantsless Avenger!


Greetings Regen fans.
Yes, I am not wearing any pants.
This just in, the SCORE server on discord is a complete distraction from the actual server at https://www.coh.com/ ran by NCSoft.
In order to reach this server, all you need is a valid credit card, for registering, and a web browser, and a PC or Laptop computer running Windows(c) XP or later or Mac OS 10 or later, of course a web connection, and one last thing, a time-machine capable of travelling back in time about 6 to 8 years.

This has been The Pantsless Report with The Pantsless Avenger saying until next time, remember, POOF!
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?