Author Topic: All The Good Names Were Taken  (Read 5073 times)

Paragon Avenger

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All The Good Names Were Taken
« on: March 02, 2017, 04:37:11 AM »
He liked to think of himself as the Paragon City Avenger.  He battled crime, stopped purse snatchings, foiled bank robberies, and helped little old ladies cross the street.  He was completely unprepared for what was about to happen.

It was a day like any other day in Atlas Park.  The sun was shining, the Longbow were getting their pictures taken for the newspaper---again,  traffic was moving along as if on pre-planned routes and the Hellions were up to no good.  He noticed a couple of them surrounding a woman while their buddy played tug-a-war with the woman using her purse.

Instantly he sprang into action, he threw down some caltrops to slow their movement.  He fired his trusty rifle sending a shot right on target to the Hellions chest.  While waiting for the weapon to reload, he threw a knife at that same Hellion and down he went.  The woman fightened by the thugs ran away; her purse just seemed to vanish.

The 2 other Hellions were not at all happy with our hero, not at all.  One of them fired his gun at our hero doing major damage.  He pulled out his first-aid kit and bandaged the wound quickly, but well enough to slow the bleeding.  He fired his gun and threw more caltrops at the advancing Hellions.  He used his throwing knife again and could tell that he was going to win this fight.  The second Hellion continued to run through the caltrops.  His slow-motion running looked funny, but nobody was laughing.

The other Hellion fired his gun a second time, but missed.  Our hero was very grateful for that bit of luck.  Although he didn't have time for thanksgiving.  As soon as his gun was ready, he fired and dropped the Hellion Gunner.  The last remaining Hellion made it through the caltrops and using his baseball bat struck a near lethal blow to our interpid hero.  Our hero threw his knife at the attacker and fired his gun again.  The Hellion Slugger hit the pavement.

In a Schadenfreudic display of joy he leaped into the air and he beamed with a white glow.  He felt very good, his wounds healed.  He has always been a fast healer.  One time when he was only 12 years old, his kid brother threw a dart at him and it stuck in the middle of his chest.  He was about to tattle on his annoying sibling when the dart popped out, by itself, and the wound rapidly started to mend.

He felt like he needed some guidance or training to become more effective.  He looked up the street and saw Ms. Liberty standing there.  He had heard about her.  She is Statesman granddaughter and a pretty good heroine in her own right.  He thought that she might help him, if he asked her in a nice way.

"Hey you!  I saw what you did."  An angry voice said.
"What?"  He said in shock.  turning around he saw one of the Longbow.
"Let me see your ID."  The Longbow demanded.
He pulled out his Library card.
"No!"
"I don't know what you want."  he said wondering why this Longbow wasn't some place getting his picture taken instead of hassling him.
"Your Superhero ID.  Come with me."  The Longbow insisted.

The pair went into City Hall and met with the City Representative.
"This guy has been practicing without being registered."  The Longbow snitched.
"Hey, I didn't know."  He said.
"Name?"  The Representative asked.
"My friends call me Trey."  he replied.

The city representative looked up and glared at him  asking, "Do I look like your friend?"
"Well, I'll leave you two to it."  the Longbow said as he walked away.
"My name is Edward Davis III."  he confessed.
"Ok, that superhero name sounds weird, let me check ... it is available."  The Representative informed typing the name into the Hero Generator and Uniform Registration Databank, or H-GAURD for short.
"Oh, my superhero name.  How about Captain Paragon."  He asked.
Hitting the backspace key several times and grunting, the City Representative said, "I'll check ... nope, taken."  There was a slight hint of glee in her voice that seemed to suggest that it serves you right.
"I had my heart set on that name, is there anything you can do?"  he asked disappointed.

"Well you could go out and find Captain Paragon and demand that he change his name.  Let's see, oh yes, he's on Peregrine Island.  I'm sure he will give up the name he has been known as for several batttles and task forces for you."  The Representative replied.
"Ok, ok, no need to get sarcastic."  he remarked.
"Let's get back to your hero name in a bit.  What are your powers?"  She asked.
"I have a rifle that reloads using my willpower."  he started.
"So you're a willpower tanker."  She interrupted not paying attention.
"No, I blast things.  And I have these nifty devices."  he corrected her.

"Ok, blaster, Assualt Rifle and Devices.  What's your origin?"  She asked.
"Tech."  He said beaming.
"Technology, and of course hero alignment.  Do you have a battlecry?"  She asked.
"<Expletive redacted> is usually the only thing a yell before going into battle."  He blurted out.
"Watch your language."  She scolded.
"Sorry."  He apologized.

"That gives me an idea.  No, it wouldn't work.  Well let's see."  She debated out loud and typed into the H-GAURD.
"What?"  He laughed at her thinking out loud.
"Ha, it's available."  She said proudly.
Peering around the screen to look at what she had typed.  "No way!  That's lame."  He protested.
"Do you have a better suggestion."  She asked confidently.
"Well not at the moment."  He said rubbing his chin.
"Well let me see."  She reached down to the keyboard to bring up a random name generator program just as he sneezed and bumped her arm.

A look of horror came over her face as she put her hands to either side of her head.
"What just happened?"  He asked fearing the answer.
"You made me hit the 'Submit' button."  She gasped.
"Well, so." 
"Your data has been sent to the H-GAURD and is now permently stored.  You are registered."  She explained.
"And my name is .."  He said with dread.
"Expletive Man."  She interrupted.




« Last Edit: March 03, 2017, 01:22:39 AM by Paragon Avenger »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2017, 06:28:01 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2017, 10:05:10 PM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2017, 04:23:11 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2017, 06:42:58 PM »
« Last Edit: March 29, 2017, 06:59:16 PM by Paragon Avenger »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2017, 01:26:27 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2017, 03:57:06 PM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2017, 06:14:25 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2017, 01:52:10 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2017, 09:28:18 PM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2017, 04:43:19 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2017, 03:19:00 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #12 on: August 03, 2017, 02:14:22 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2017, 03:48:18 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2017, 05:19:45 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2017, 06:20:42 AM »
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2018, 06:42:12 AM »
"I love this place."  Interjection said sitting back down in the booth where he and Expletive Man were sitting in Pocket D.
Finishing another chocolate shake, Expletive Man said, "Yeah, they got good chocolate shakes."
"No you dope, I'm talking about the flora and fauna on the dance floor."  Interjection snapped back.
"What are you talking about?"  Expletive Man demanded.
"Cat girls, me-ow, if you catch my drift."
"I guess I prefer humans."
"You need to broaden your mind.  Once you've gone cat, you'll want all that."
"What?"  Expletive Man questioned.
"Cut me some slack, I just made that up; it rhymes."

"Congratulations."  Expletive Man said disingenuously.
"Hey, what's your problem?"
"I feel so useless just sitting here, I need to go out fighting crime to get enough money to bribe the officials to change my name, and then I need to make a name for myself."
"Yeah, you're right, be right back, that cat girl just winked at me."  Interjection said paying more attention to the dancing cat girls than to Expletive Man.

"Cat girls."  Expletive Man scoffed.  As he sat there drinking his third chocolate shake, he thought how Interjection was holding him back.  He remembered the way he used to charge into groups of baddies guns blazing.  Now all they do is watch cat girls dance.  Expletive stood up and started to walk away.
"Sit back down, you." A stranger ordered shoving Expletive Man back into the booth.
"We wants ta talk at you." The stranger continued.

"What do you want; who are you?"  Expletive Man asked.
"Who am I?  I am The Green Storm.  And I hates heroes."
"Wow, Green Storm, cool name."
"Hey, watch it.  I'm not making fun of your name."  Green Storm replied
"No, I wasn't ..."

"A super's name is like his identity, his title.  People say, 'Look out, here comes, The Green Storm!' with fear in their voices.  I like that."  Green Storm explained.
"I agree totally."
"Mind if I sit down.  Anyways, the more puny heroes a take down in the Arena, the more respect I get in the Isles.  Understand?"  Green Storm said sliding next to Expletive Man and putting his arm on his shoulders.
"Sure, and I wish you lots of luck in your endeavors."
"Great, so I'll see you in Siren's Call?"
"Wait, hold it, time out."
"What's the matter, you chicken?"
"No."

"Great, by the way, what's your name?"  Green Storm said patting Expletive Man on the shoulders.
"I am Expletive Man!"  Expletive Man shouted with all the heroic reverb he could conjure.
"No wonder you were making fun of my name, man you rock.  After I defeat you, my prestige should skyrocket."
They both laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #17 on: April 04, 2018, 12:46:48 AM »
"Hey you, hold it right there."  Hurtproof warned.
"Who are you, and what do you want?"  Expletive Man replied.
"Don't play coy, I know you are Some Nut With a Gun."  Hurtproof answered.
"Sure, I have a stupid name, but that was uncalled for."  Expletive Man started to get angry.
"Are you going to come quietly, or am I going to have to convince you?"

"Convince me of what?"
"Ms. Liberty said that you ..."
"Oh no, I'm not falling for that again.  Last time I talked to Hero Corps, I ended up with this ridiculous name."  Expletive Man explained.
"Funny, Ms. Liberty was just saying how she missed the good ole days when Supers had better names."

"Right, like the fella I'm looking for.  He goes by 'Green Storm' can you believe that?"
"Green Storm, that's a new one."
"So, what's your name?"  Expletive Man asked.
"They called me, Hurtproof."  Hurtproof said seriously.
"Nice to meet your acquintance."

"What your name, slick."  Hurtproof demanded.
"I am Expletive Man!"  Expletive Man said with full heroic reverb.
"I thought you were, Some Nut With a Gun"
"Well yes, but that's not my name."
They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #18 on: June 29, 2018, 02:04:04 AM »
"Expletive Man, this is my friend, Night Terror."  Green Storm introduced.
"Hi."  Expletive Man said shaking this new super's hand.
"I figured, to make it a fair fight, you two could go against me."  Green Storm suggested.
"I don't know, Night Terror, what are your powers?"

"Well, I have Illusion Control and Darkness Affinity."  Night Terror replied.
Night Terror wore a short dark brown robe.  She also had thigh-high brown witch boots.  She had dark circles around her eyes and a cloth mask over her nose and mouth.  She didn't look scary; she looked dark and mysterious.

"A good controller it sounds like."  Expletive Man responded.
They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?