Author Topic: All The Good Names Were Taken  (Read 978 times)

Paragon Avenger

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All The Good Names Were Taken
« on: March 02, 2017, 04:37:11 AM »
He liked to think of himself as the Paragon City Avenger.  He battled crime, stopped purse snatchings, foiled bank robberies, and helped little old ladies cross the street.  He was completely unprepared for what was about to happen.

It was a day like any other day in Atlas Park.  The sun was shining, the Longbow were getting their pictures taken for the newspaper---again,  traffic was moving along as if on pre-planned routes and the Hellions were up to no good.  He noticed a couple of them surrounding a woman while their buddy played tug-a-war with the woman using her purse.

Instantly he sprang into action, he threw down some caltrops to slow their movement.  He fired his trusty rifle sending a shot right on target to the Hellions chest.  While waiting for the weapon to reload, he threw a knife at that same Hellion and down he went.  The woman fightened by the thugs ran away; her purse just seemed to vanish.

The 2 other Hellions were not at all happy with our hero, not at all.  One of them fired his gun at our hero doing major damage.  He pulled out his first-aid kit and bandaged the wound quickly, but well enough to slow the bleeding.  He fired his gun and threw more caltrops at the advancing Hellions.  He used his throwing knife again and could tell that he was going to win this fight.  The second Hellion continued to run through the caltrops.  His slow-motion running looked funny, but nobody was laughing.

The other Hellion fired his gun a second time, but missed.  Our hero was very grateful for that bit of luck.  Although he didn't have time for thanksgiving.  As soon as his gun was ready, he fired and dropped the Hellion Gunner.  The last remaining Hellion made it through the caltrops and using his baseball bat struck a near lethal blow to our interpid hero.  Our hero threw his knife at the attacker and fired his gun again.  The Hellion Slugger hit the pavement.

In a Schadenfreudic display of joy he leaped into the air and he beamed with a white glow.  He felt very good, his wounds healed.  He has always been a fast healer.  One time when he was only 12 years old, his kid brother threw a dart at him and it stuck in the middle of his chest.  He was about to tattle on his annoying sibling when the dart popped out, by itself, and the wound rapidly started to mend.

He felt like he needed some guidance or training to become more effective.  He looked up the street and saw Ms. Liberty standing there.  He had heard about her.  She is Statesman granddaughter and a pretty good heroine in her own right.  He thought that she might help him, if he asked her in a nice way.

"Hey you!  I saw what you did."  An angry voice said.
"What?"  He said in shock.  turning around he saw one of the Longbow.
"Let me see your ID."  The Longbow demanded.
He pulled out his Library card.
"No!"
"I don't know what you want."  he said wondering why this Longbow wasn't some place getting his picture taken instead of hassling him.
"Your Superhero ID.  Come with me."  The Longbow insisted.

The pair went into City Hall and met with the City Representative.
"This guy has been practicing without being registered."  The Longbow snitched.
"Hey, I didn't know."  He said.
"Name?"  The Representative asked.
"My friends call me Trey."  he replied.

The city representative looked up and glared at him  asking, "Do I look like your friend?"
"Well, I'll leave you two to it."  the Longbow said as he walked away.
"My name is Edward Davis III."  he confessed.
"Ok, that superhero name sounds weird, let me check ... it is available."  The Representative informed typing the name into the Hero Generator and Uniform Registration Databank, or H-GAURD for short.
"Oh, my superhero name.  How about Captain Paragon."  He asked.
Hitting the backspace key several times and grunting, the City Representative said, "I'll check ... nope, taken."  There was a slight hint of glee in her voice that seemed to suggest that it serves you right.
"I had my heart set on that name, is there anything you can do?"  he asked disappointed.

"Well you could go out and find Captain Paragon and demand that he change his name.  Let's see, oh yes, he's on Peregrine Island.  I'm sure he will give up the name he has been known as for several batttles and task forces for you."  The Representative replied.
"Ok, ok, no need to get sarcastic."  he remarked.
"Let's get back to your hero name in a bit.  What are your powers?"  She asked.
"I have a rifle that reloads using my willpower."  he started.
"So you're a willpower tanker."  She interrupted not paying attention.
"No, I blast things.  And I have these nifty devices."  he corrected her.

"Ok, blaster, Assualt Rifle and Devices.  What's your origin?"  She asked.
"Tech."  He said beaming.
"Technology, and of course hero alignment.  Do you have a battlecry?"  She asked.
"<Expletive redacted> is usually the only thing a yell before going into battle."  He blurted out.
"Watch your language."  She scolded.
"Sorry."  He apologized.

"That gives me an idea.  No, it wouldn't work.  Well let's see."  She debated out loud and typed into the H-GAURD.
"What?"  He laughed at her thinking out loud.
"Ha, it's available."  She said proudly.
Peering around the screen to look at what she had typed.  "No way!  That's lame."  He protested.
"Do you have a better suggestion."  She asked confidently.
"Well not at the moment."  He said rubbing his chin.
"Well let me see."  She reached down to the keyboard to bring up a random name generator program just as he sneezed and bumped her arm.

A look of horror came over her face as she put her hands to either side of her head.
"What just happened?"  He asked fearing the answer.
"You made me hit the 'Submit' button."  She gasped.
"Well, so." 
"Your data has been sent to the H-GAURD and is now permently stored.  You are registered."  She explained.
"And my name is .."  He said with dread.
"Expletive Man."  She interrupted.




« Last Edit: March 03, 2017, 01:22:39 AM by Paragon Avenger »
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2017, 06:28:01 AM »
A cry for help was heard over the din of the city.  Our intrepid hero leapt into action.  Running as fast as he could, he soon spied the man in trouble.  A construction worker, in Kings Row, was trapped by a small group of some kind of weird, over-sized, wind-up toys.  These wind-up toys weren’t playing.  They would shoot electricity at the hapless citizen.

“Never fear, Expletive Man is here!”  Trey shouted as he ran at the three robots.
“Expletive Man?”  The Construction worker asked.
“Well, yes, all the good names were taken.”
“I don’t want to be rescued by ‘Expletive Man’, run along.”
“Well, think of me as Captain Paragon.”  Expletive Man rejoined.
“Ok then.”

And with that he fired a burst at one of the robots.  He threw caltrops and used web grenades on the robots.  Using brawl and slug and his throw knife he made quick work of the nasty little wind-up toys.

“Thanks for rescuing me, Captain Paragon.”  The Construction Worker said holding out his hand for a hand shake.
“Wow!  Captain Paragon is here in Kings!”  A passer-by exclaimed.
“Hey!  What’s the big idea.”  A man asked angrily as he approached our hero.
“What?”  Expletive Man asked.
“You’re not Captain Paragon.  This man is an imposter!”  The man shouted.
“Ok, ok, I’m not THE Captain Paragon, I’m ... ”  Expletive Man started to explain.
“Seize him!”  Some one shouted.
“Imposter!”  Another yelled.
“No, you don’t understand.”  Expletive Man said trying to calm the crowd.
“Captain Paragon saved me from the Circle of Thorns.  How dare you sully his name?”  A woman said indigent.  She started to pommel him with her purse.  Others joined the fray.

“Stop and decease, humans, this is a no brawling zone.”  A robotic voice said.
Instantly everybody stopped pounding on Expletive Man.
“Robo-Bot, are we glad to see you.”  One of the brawlers said.
“Explain yourself, human.”  Robo-Bot replied.
“This man is an imposter.”  One of the crowd said.
“Yeah!” Many of the crowd shouted.
“He claims to be Captain Paragon.”  Another one of the crowd stated.
“Hero, show me your identification card.”  Robo-Bot requested.

He pulled out his Super Powered Person Identification and Registration card.
“This is Expletive Man, not Captain Paragon.”  Robo-Bot responded.
“I know, that’s what I was trying to tell these idiots.”  Expletive Man.
“Why are you going by a false identity?  You are not Captain Paragon.”  Robo-Bot asked.
“No, you see I was just explaining.”  Expletive Man started to explain.
“Tell it to the judge.”  Robo-Bot said

The two heroes went to the nearest police station.
“Officer, this is Expletive Man, but he tells people that he is Captain Paragon.”  Robo-Bot informed the police sergeant behind the desk.
“Captain Paragon has been a real friend to our precinct for many years.”  The police sergeant commented.
“Did some one say that Captain Paragon was here?”  Another Policeman asked.
“Captain Paragon, I want to thank you again for … you’re not Captain Paragon.”  A policeman said walking into the room.
“So trying to horn in on Captain Paragon’s good reputation?”  The Police Sergeant asked.
“No, you don’t understand.”  Expletive Man began.
“I’m listening.”  The Police Sergeant replied.
“As you know the name Captain Paragon is already taken, but I figured if it made people feel better than they could think of me as Captain Paragon instead of Expletive Man.”  Expletive Man explains.
“Well, how did you get the name, ‘Expletive Man’ anyhow?”  The Police Sergeant asked.
“By accident, I assure you.”  Expletive Man sighed.

“Ok, ok, pay a 50i fine and only use the name on your Hero ID from now on.”  The Police Sergeant ordered.
“Great, just great.”  Expletive Man said.
“What did you say?”  The Police Sergeant asked.
“Nothing.”  Expletive Man replied.
“Another 10i for using somebody else’s catch phrase.”  The Police Sergeant gaveled.

Expletive Man made his way to the cashier and paid the fine.
“Pssst.”  Robo-Bot said waving his hand at Expletive Man.
“Yes, what is it now.”  Expletive Man asked.
“You should get a rename token.”  Robo-Bot said robotically.
“How would that help, Captain Paragon … “  Expletive man said.
“ut-ut-ut”  The Police Sergeant said waving his finger at Expletive Man.
“You know who has already been taken, how would a rename token help?”  Expletive Man whispered.
“Well, it couldn’t hurt.”  Robo-Bot said imitating Groucho Marx.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2017, 10:05:10 PM »
He never had any problems before.  Steel Canyon is his home and he knows how to avoid the Outcasts.  He works at the University grading papers and assisting the professors, but tonight it is he who needs assistance.  Walking home from work, he forgot to cross the street at Lexington Avenue and ran straight into a group of Outcasts.

“Please, Mr. Outcast Sir, let me go.  I didn’t mean anything by walking down this side of the street.  It was an accident.”  He begged.
His pleads fell on deaf ears as the Outcasts began to encircle him and demand money.
“Conflagration!”  He shouted as had been taught in self-defense courses throughout Paragon City.
The Outcasts began to attack him.

From out of the sky a superhero sped to his aid.
“There’s no need to panic, Expletive Man is here.”  Expletive Man said.
“That don’t even rhyme.”  The Outcast leader said.
“Well, I can’t say what UnderDog says.”  Expletive Man replied.
“Of course.  So why are you here?”  The Outcast leader asked.
“Well, I am here to rescue that librarian.”  Expletive Man said.
“But I’m not a librarian.”  He said.
“Shut up, you idiot.”  One of the Outcasts said firing a fire-ball at him.

“Well whatever he does for a living is unimportant.”  Expletive Man said.
“Unimportant?  This is a man’s livelihood you’re talking about.”  The Outcast Leader admonished.
“Well I didn’t mean it that way.”  Expletive man replied.
“Then why did you say it?”  The Outcast leader fired back.
“I meant that no matter what a citizen of Paragon City does for a living, I will be there to rescue him.”  Expletive Man said.
“What about us Outcasts, will you help us?”  The Outcast leader asked.
“No”  Expletive Man responded.

“Hypocrite!”  The Outcast leader accused.
“I help good, honest, hard-working folks.”  Expletive Man replied.
“What about Used Car Salesmen, will you help them?”  The Outcast leader asked.
“Well, of course.”  Expletive Man said.
“But 90% of all used car salesmen give a bad name to the other 10%.”  The Outcast Leader shot back.
“Well, yes but you don’t understand.”  Expletive Man replied.
“I heard it was more like 95%.”  He said.
“Oh snap.”  One of the Outcasts said.

“Look, the percentage of Used Car Salesmen who deal honestly is not important.”  Expletive Man said.
“Not Important?  When is the last time you bought a car?”  The Outcast leader asked.
“Yeah.”  He said.
“I’m here to rescue people from crime, not purchase less than new automobiles.”  Expletive Man countered.
“What about pollution and old age?  Those seem to kill millions.  What are you doing about those?”  The Outcast leader asked.
“Well, I never thought about that.”  Expletive Man said.
“And disease, what are you doing about disease?”  The Outcast leader piled on.
“Nothing.”  Expletive man said defeated.

“Defender of the people, ha!  Defender of nothing.”  The Outcast leader taunted.
“But I rescue people from …”  Expletive Man said.
“From what?  Just so they can die a slow painful death.”  The Outcast leader put it on thick.
“No, I help people.”  Expletive Man said.
“You heartless sack of <expletive redacted>, you would have these poor people die of old age or some rare disease.”  The Outcast leader continued.
“Yeah, that’s telling him.”  He said.

“I guess my whole existence is a joke.”  Expletive Man concluded.
“So why don’t you go run-along and leave us to our business?”  The Outcast leader asked.
“Yeah.”  He said.
“Wait a minute, are you saying that you don’t want me to rescue you, sir?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Oh, umm, yes, please rescue me.”  He said.

And with that our hero began to shoot, knife and beat the Outcasts.  He used web grenade to hold the advancing Outcasts at bay until he could drop them one-by-one.  The Outcasts fought back, but he was able to take drugs to help him deal with the damage they did to him.

“Wow! That was amasing, fantastic, and super!”  He said.
“Thanks.”  Expletive Man said.
“What is your name, again.”  He asked.
“Expletive Man.” Expletive Man shouted in that heroic-echo way.
“What?  No.  Bring the Outcasts back.”  He said.
“What?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Look, when I tell the police, newspaper and my friends who rescued me; I don’t want to say, ‘Expletive Man’, you understand.”  He remarked.
“But I saved you.”  Expletive Man said.
“Yeah, thanks for nothing.”  He replied.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2017, 04:23:11 AM »
“You’re doing well, Expletive Man.”  Ms. Liberty exclaimed as our hero approached her.
“Thank you, I was wondering … “  Expletive Man began.
“Would you like to train to the next level?”  Ms. Liberty asked interrupting him.
“Well, ok.”  Expletive Man responded.
“I’m sorry; you do not have enough experience to be trained for the next level.”  Ms. Liberty cheerfully informed.
“Then why did you, oh never mind.  I want to buy a rename token please.”  Expletive Man replied.
“I don’t sell those.”  Ms. Liberty replied.
“Where do I get one; how do I get one?”  He asked.
“You can get a recipe for a rename token from salvage and other things you get as rewards for fighting crime.”  Ms. Liberty explained.
“Is there another way?”
“Yes, the Auction House, Wentworth’s probably has some up for sale.”  Ms. Liberty said.
“Ok, thanks.”

He run to Wentwoth’s just up the street.  He could tell right away that it was a classy store.  The circular design of the building, the glass front and roof, the wood paneling, even the uniforms the sales help wore made him feel a bit out of place.  He walked up to a cute woman sales associate and said “Hello” with a smile.

“How may I serve you?”  She intoned.
“I am looking for a rename token, please.”  Expletive Name said.
“First things first, big guy, let me see your super person registration and identification card.
He pulled out his hero ID and handed it to her.  He knew what was going to happen next.  She was going to make fun of his name or be put off by it.  She will probably have him thrown out.  Well his mind was made up; he wasn’t going to leave without a rename token or a fight.

“Let me enter you into our computer.”  She said as she typed into her computer.
“I have as much right to be here as anybody else.”  He said sternly.
“Of course you do, there you go.  Your storage is setup and you may bid or put items up for sale.”  She said pleased with her speed of setting up his accounts.
“So you are not going to send for security or ridicule my name?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Why would I do that; we see all kind of crazy names in here, believe me.”  She laughed.
“You don’t find my name particularly strange?”  He asked.
“What was your name, I didn’t even notice?”  She asked.
“Expletive Man!”  He said in that heroic echo voice.

“That’s cute.  So what did you want to do?”  She asked.
“Really, well, I’m looking for a rename token.”  Expletive Man said a bit stunned.
“Yes, you search on this screen and enter you bid here and the quantity here.  Will that be all?”  She asked.
“That’s all for now.”  He said as he figured out the search.  It was fairly simple and straight forward.  He typed in ‘rename’ and items up for bid and for sale popped up.  There were several bidders for rename tokens, not what he was looking for.  He then found rename token recipes.  He kind of didn’t know how to do recipes so he skipped those.  He found rename tokens.
“Miss?”  He asked.
“Yes, how may I serve you?”  The same sales lady asked.
“I found the rename tokens, but they don’t have prices.  I don’t understand.”  He said confused.

“You have to bid on the items, that’s kind of why we call this place an auction house.”  She said trying not to be too sarcastic.
“Now who’s being cute?”  He said playfully.
She twirled her hair around her finger and giggled.
“Ok, so what’s the minimum price for one of these rename thingies.”  He almost forgot why he was there.  She was pretty and friendly and helpful.  She didn’t make fun of his stupid superhero name, and that is a big plus.
“Oh, I can’t tell you that.”  She countered.
“Why?”
“I’d lose my job, silly.  Each customer is guaranteed privacy of price and privacy of bids.”  She explained.
“So, I’m just another customer to you.”  He felt let down.
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I would love to help you, but rules are rules.”  She said wishing she could break the rules.

“Ok, tell me what I should bid.”  He said looking into her beautiful eyes.
“Well, you can bid 1i or 2,000,000,000i.  There is a 5% fee when you make a purchase.”  She said trying to be helpful.
“Oh, I get it.  I decide what price I want to pay.  If somebody put one up for sale at or below that price, I win the bid.  This sounds kind of fun.”  He said catching on to the bidding system.
“I can think of something more fun.”  She mumbled under her breath.
“What was that?”  He asked excited about the bidding system.
“I said that you can put in more than one bid.”  She said hoping to cover up her earlier slip.

“Ok, all done with this bidding stuff.”  He said proud of himself.
“You did very well for a first timer.”  She replied smiling at him.
“You know, there is something that I’m not a first timer at.”  He said confidently.
“What is that?”  She asked coyly.
He leaned over and gave her a soft warm kiss.
“You’re right, you are no first timer.”  She laughed.
“So, what time do you get off work?”  He asked hopeful.
“Well, we just met, but you are a superhero.  I think I could be safe with you.”  She replied.
“Don’t be too sure about that.”
“Well I get off around 9, but I got to pick-up my niece from piano class.  How about Friday?”  She asked.
“Friday is good for me.”  He answered walking away looking at her.
As he was walking away, another super came running up.  He was dressed in red armor from head to toe.  He thought he heard her say to this armored hero, ‘I need a canopener’.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2017, 06:42:58 PM »
Friday came and he prepared for his date.  He decided to stay home the entire day so that he wouldn’t get involved with street crime, and possibly spend the night in the hospital.  He took a shower and put on his costume.  Then he thought that wearing his superhero costume on a date was overkill.  He changed into his street clothes and ate lunch.  Spilling mustard down his shirt, he took another shower and put his shirt to soak.  He put on a business suit.  He has this business suit for special occasions, mostly funerals and weddings.  He felt over-dressed.  He changed into his covert costume that he uses for sneaking around at night.  He figured that this date was going to take place at night; his night costume would be a good choice.

He stepped outside and realized something he never noticed before.  His night costume was a bit too revealing in his groan area.  At night---in the dark---it didn’t matter, but on a date it could be embarrassing.  He went back inside.  He decided that he would wear the top of his superhero costume, but below the waist he would wear dress pants and dress shoes.  He completed the ensemble with a sports coat.  The blues and grays of his night costume with the grays of his sports coat went well with the dark blue of his dress pants and black dress shoes.  Looking in the mirror he did that finger gun thing and said, “You big stud”.  He was happy with the way he looked.

He changed into street clothes to avoid wrinkling his costume.  And judging by what happened during lunch, he decided that it was a good idea to not wear his “date costume” until his was ready to use it.  He double-checked the reservations at the “El Super Mexicano” restaurant.  He double-checked his wallet.  He had enough cash for tonight.  He double-checked his whiskers, “Yup better shave again”, he thought to his self.  After shaving, he decided that it might be better if he had a light snack before going out.  He figured that eating before going out, he wouldn’t need to eat as much and he could focus on more important things.

After finishing his third Braunschweiger and Limburger cheese sandwich, he decided that it was time to get ready again.  He took another shower and shaved.  And after getting a whiff of his own breath, he brushed his teeth, flossed and gargled, twice.  He walked outside and down the street.
“Hey, it’s Expletive Man, let’s get him!”  A Hellion cried.
“Not tonight, boys; I have a date.”  Expletive Man explained.
“Ok, some other time.”  The Hellion replied.
“Get her good!”  Another Hellion shouted.
He wanted to teach them some manners, but he didn’t want to be late.  He walked on.

As he walked into Wentworth’s he noticed that they were kind of busy.  With all these heroes around, he couldn’t see his date.  He decided to get in-line.  After waiting several minutes, he got to the head of the line.  “Is it always this busy?”  He asked.
“Oh, it varies; how may I serve you.”  The employee asked.
He described the employee that he was looking for.
“Oh, you mean Lisa.  Yeah she was transferred to Talos Island.”  The employee advised.
“Transferred?  How long did she know that she was going to be transferred?”  He asked.
“Usually, they give us a couple weeks notice ahead of time.”
“Thank you.”  He said out of habit and turned and walked away.
“You look nice, by the way.”  The employee stated.
“Expletive!”  He said.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2017, 06:59:16 PM by Paragon Avenger »
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2017, 01:26:27 AM »
After being stood-up for his date, he headed back to his apartment.  He realized that it must have been his superhero name that caused Lisa to split.  He pondered the mistreatment he received while trying to help people.  He thought back to his run-ins with the law.  “Ten influence just for saying, ‘Great, just great’, that was ridiculous”  He said to his self.  He nearly convinced his self to become a villain when the phone rang.

“Yes?”  He answered picking up the phone and tapping the answer icon.
“Hello, hello, is this the party to whom I’m speaking?”  A voice said over the phone.
“Why no, it is … Expletive Man!”  He said in that heroic reverb voice.
“Well, I was told to call you.  May I come up to your place?”  The voice continued.
He didn’t recognize the voice.  It wasn’t Lisa, that tabby.  It sounded like a man’s voice, strong and sure, but not quite super heroic.  It sounded human, but in Paragon City, who knows.
“Ok.”  He replied.
The doorbell sounded.
“When it rains it pours.”  He said softly to his self as he walked to the door.

“Hi, remember me from earlier today, on the phone.”  The costumed hero said after Expletive Man opened the door.
“You called from right outside my door?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Well, I didn’t want to disturb you.”  This new hero stated.
“Yeah, what do you want?”  Expletive Man asked.
“May I come in?”  He asked pushing pass E.M.
“Yeah, sit any …”  Expletive Man started to say as he turned to close the door and follow the new hero in.  The new hero was already seated at the table.

“I need your help.”  He said.
“What do you need me to do?”  Expletive Man asked.
“I need a mentor.”
“Ah, I know several good ones, there’s …”  Expletive Man said as he sat at the table opposite the other hero.
“No, I need you.”
“Why me?”  E.M. asked.
“I am just starting out, and you have been through a lot of training.  And there is a certain symmetry with our names.”
“Oh, I see.  What is your name?”  Expletive Man asked.
“I am Interjection!”  Interjection said in that heroic echo voice.
“You have got to be kidding.”  Expletive Man remarked.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2017, 03:57:06 PM »
“Expletive Man?”  Interjection asked worried as he gazed at the Outcasts across the street.
“Yes Interjection.”  Expletive Man said feeling like a seasoned knowledgeable superhero about to train his side-kick.  This city was starting to make sense to him.  He knew his way around Atlas Park, Kings Row, Perez Park, Steel Canyon, The Hollows, Skyway City and even Boom Town.  He had seen it all.  Hellions, Clockwork, Trolls, Outcasts, The Council, The Circle of Thorns, The Fifth Column and even The Vahzilok.  He has fought each of them and won.  He has this game wired.  All he has to do is not tell anybody his superhero name and everything works out.

“I was wondering if you had lost your marbles.”  Interjection asked sheepishly.
“What?”  Expletive Man countered puzzled.
“Those Outcasts look too tough for us.”  Interjection complained.
“Non-sense.  Sure maybe they are too much for me or you alone, but both of us together …”  Expletive Man began.
“Will go to the hospital, together.”  Interjection interjected.
“Ok, maybe we can get just one of them to run over here and attack us.”  Expletive Man pondered.
“Great, have one of them come over here and attack us.”  Interjection mocked.
“Well alright.”  Expletive Man said as he threw his knife at one of the Outcast Initiate Slammer.

The Outcast Initiate Slammer fired his revolver back at Expletive Man, and he and a couple of his buddies crossed the street to attack.  Using his own gun, Expletive Man fired at the advancing Outcasts.  One of the Outcasts, an Outcast Initiate Chopper, used his axe to send Interjection to the pavement.  Interjection was down and waited for Expletive Man’s help.  Without a sidekick, Expletive Man soon face planted.  As both heroes lay on the sidewalk, the Outcasts ran across the street to re-join their group.
“See, it worked.  They came over here and attacked us.”  Expletive Man said.
“Yup, now can you show me how to go to the hospital?”  Interjection said sarcastically.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2017, 06:14:25 AM »
“Interjection, I have a question.”  Expletive Man said.
“Yes, Expletive Man, what is your question?”  Interjection asked.
“Roughly, ball-park, no need to be 100% accurate here, but how many training sessions have you had?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Oh, I don’t know.  Does that Coyote fellow count as a training session?”  Interjection questioned.
“Well, not really, but sure add him in to the total.  About how many times have you been trained by a trainer to help you improve your superhero abilities?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Counting Coyote?”  Interjection asked.
“Yes, counting Coyote.”  Expletive Man fired back.
“Ummm, about one.”  Interjection said.

Expletive Man put his hand to his forehead.  He realized that he was hanging out with a newbie.  He himself had over a dozen training sessions.  Well this does explain his lack of help against those Outcasts.  This place just keeps getting tougher.  He is saddled with a stupid, lame name.  He was stood-up by a smooth auction house operator.  And now he is stuck with a low level hero.

“Interjection, what am I going to do with you?”  Expletive Man asked.
“What do you mean?”  Interjection countered.
“I thought that you were going to be my partner, but you’re not a real superhero.”  Expletive Man stated.
“Now hold-on one <expletive redacted> minute!  Nobody says that I’m not a real superhero.  Why just last week, I single-handily rescued Flower Knight.”  Interjection demanded.
“Yeah, I did something like that months ago.”  Expletive Man remarked.
“Ok, sure, you have more experience, that’s why I need you to mentor me.”  Interjection pleaded.
“Mentor you!  You wouldn’t even make a good sidekick.”  Expletive Man laughed.

“E.M. that’s it!  Remember our orientation training?”  Interjection asked.
“Not really, it was soooo long ago.”  Expletive Man said sarcastically.
“Ha!  Anyway, there is some ways that you share your experience with me to make my powers more effective.  I become your sidekick.”  Interjection explained.
“Oh yeah.  I’ll go ask how that’s done.”  Expletive Man stated.

They walked over to Valkyrie and asked about mentoring.
“Oh yes, you can side-kick any other hero who doesn’t have as much experience as yourself by doing a superhero team and declaring the team leader.”  Valkyrie explained.
“Cool, how do I do that?”  Expletive Man asked.
“You send a team invite using your two-way wrist communicator.”  Valkyrie added.
“Like this?”  Expletive man asked pressing the “Help” button.
A loud whistle was heard and a voice shouted “HELP!”
“No, the other button.”  Valkyrie said annoyed.
“Other button, got it.”  Expletive Man said pressing the team invite button.
“No, I don’t want to be on your team.”  Valkyrie snapped in frustration.
“Sorry, sorry.”  Expletive Man said.

Interjection received and accepted the team invite from Expletive Man.  He felt stronger and more capable than ever.  Expletive Man figured out how to send his mission assignment to his team.  This team stuff is really kind of nifty.  They could communicate via a secret team channel.  The team leader could share mission assignments.  And best of all, all the less experienced heroes are made stronger and more powerful.  Suddenly this place seemed not so bad.  Then somebody walked by and said, “Hey look everybody, it’s Expletive Man!”  And all the by-standers started laughing.  Interjection and Expletive Man ran to the building where they were to do their next mission.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2017, 01:52:10 AM »
The store-front door led to an abandoned warehouse.  Expletive Man entered first and stood by the doors waiting for Interjection.  Some people take longer going through doors in this strange city.  The corridor was vacant, gray and uninviting.  E.M. could see and hear a group of Outcasts in the big room at the end of the corridor.  They didn’t seem to notice or care that a superhero just walked into their warehouse.  Interjection entered the building, and E.M. asked him what had taken so long.

“Push, pull, turn the knob, it’s all so confusing.”  Interjection replied.
“Ok, there’s a group of Outcasts at the end of the hall; keep quiet.”  Expletive Man instructed.
“This is going to be so much fun.”  Interjection whispered.
The duo snuck along the near wall to the corner of the big room.
“I’ll get one of them to run over here and attack us.”  E.M. whispered.
“Not that again.”  Interjection responded.
“Wait here.”  Expletive Man whispered and motioned with his hands.
He moved closer and carefully selected a low level Outcast Slammer.  Using his trusty throwing knife, he stabbed the unsuspecting Outcast.  The Outcast glanced in the direction of where the knife had come from.  Spying Expletive Man, he ran towards our hero forgetting to sound an alarm.  The other Outcasts continued as though nothing had happened and even if something had happened why should they care.

The Outcast Initiate Slammer swung his mighty sledgehammer at E.M.  Interjection pulled out his shovel and hit the Outcast Initiate Slammer with it sending him to his back pockets.  Expletive Man fired his slug power at the Outcast and Interjection hit him again with the shovel.  That was one down, lots more to go.

“Interjection, what do you got there?”  Expletive Man asked.
“What?”
“That shovel.  Where’s your gun?”  Expletive Man asked.
“I don’t have a gun; just this shovel.”
“How in the world do you expect to fight crime in this city with only a lousy shovel?”
“Well, it is a nice shovel.”  Interjection said proudly.
“But you can’t shoot people with a shovel.”
“Well, I arrested the <expletive redacted> out of that Outcast, now didn’t I?”  Interjection defended.
“Beginners’ luck.”
“Ha!  I’ll show you!”  Interjection said running into the two Outcasts from the group the other Outcast came from.
“Interjection, no!”  E.M. cried reaching for Interjection’s sleeve.

Expletive Man was too late.  Interjection stood between the two Outcasts with them pounding on him.  Expletive Man watched in horror and wondered how long it would take him to get back from the hospital.
“A little help.”  Interjection called out.
Expletive Man suddenly realized that with the Outcasts attacking Interjection, he could pick them off one at a time.  He threw some caltrops at Interjections feet just to be on the safe side.  He then began firing his rifle using burst and slug rounds alternatively.  The two Outcasts dropped to the floor, and Interjection jumping in the air with a white glow.

“Interjection?”  Expletive Man said walking over to him.
“Yes.”
“Is there something that you want to tell me?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Not really.”
“Oh, how in the world were you able to just stand there with them pounding on you like that?”  Expletive Man asked.
“I don’t know, it’s just one of my powers.  As long as I have my lucky rabbit’s foot, I can do all kinds of crazy stuff.  You should have seen me in Outbreak.  I was something.”
“And that was last Thursday?”  Expletive Man mocked.
“Rub it in.”  Interjection said dejected.

“Ok, new plan.”
“About time, that having them come to us to attack us was getting old.”  Interjection said.
“Anyway, you run in and get their attention, and I’ll take pop-shots at them from a safe distance.”  Expletive Man explained.
“For some reason, I want to say that that sounds like a plan---a good plan.”  Interjection agreed.
The two heroes walked across the room closer to a second group of Outcasts that seemed to neither hear nor see the battle that sent three of their own to the Zig.
“Use your battle cry.”  Expletive Man suggested.
“Hey!”  Interjection interjected as he charged the group of Outcasts.
“That’s your battle cry?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Why, what’s wrong with it?”  Interjection said as he attacked the three Outcasts.
“Well, it is kind of simple.”
“Ok, wise guy, what’s your battle cry.”  Interjection asked.
“<Expletive redacted>!”  Expletive Man cried.
“Funny, now do you mind pitching in?” 
“Sure thing.”  Expletive Man answered.  He began shooting the Outcasts and using web grenade and caltrops.

After several winning battles, they found the boss who had called Expletive Man out.
“Expletive Man, I am gonna tear you to pieces.”  Lead Brick said.
“Look, it’s Lead Brick.”  Interjection interjected.
“Thanks, Captain Obvious.”  Expletive Man scorned.
“This city belongs to the Outcasts!”  Lead Brick said as he charged Expletive Man.
Expletive Man throw drop caltrops, used web grenade and fired his rifle at the Outcast boss.  Interjection charged in and with a mighty blow with his shovel gained the Outcast’s attention.  Using Stone Fists, the Lead Brick began to pommel Interjection.  Expletive Man continued to fire his rifle and use his throwing knife.  Interjection, for his part, wasn’t sparing his shovel.  This awesome battle continued for several minutes.  Expletive Man had medicine that he used to stay alive.  Interjection had the power to self-heal, and he was using the heck out of it.  The Lead Brick grew weaker and weaker, but kept fighting.
“Expletive Man, what are you going to do when I defeat you?”  The Lead Brick asked.
“Ride my flying monkey to the moon.”  Expletive Man shot back.
“What does that mean?”  Interjection asked.
“The only time he will defeat me is when monkeys fly.”  Expletive Man growled.
They all laughed.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2017, 09:28:18 PM »
“That last bad guy was intense.”  Interjection remarked.
“Let’s exit and see if they will let us train up.”  Expletive Man planned.
“First, let’s look around.”  Interjection said.
“What for?”  Expletive Man asked.
“I have a feeling that there might be something here.”

The two heroes spent several minutes searching the warehouse.  They found nothing of interest.
“What did you expect to find?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Oh, I don’t know, a +10 sword in a pile of rags, maybe.”
“Ha!  What do you think this is Dungeons and Dragons?”  Expletive Man scoffed.
“Oh never mind.”  Interjection said.
“Com’on, I’ll buy you a shiny new enhancement.”

With that the two found the exit and left the warehouse.
“Look, it’s Expletive Man!”  A passer-by shouted.
“Let’s get him!”  Another by-stander shouted.
“Hey!”  Interjection interjected.
“What the <expletive redacted> is going on here?”  Expletive Man rejoined.
“We don’t like villains running around pretending to be heroes.”
“Yeah, that’s telling him.”
“I’m not a villain.”  Expletive Man answered.
“With a name like ‘Expletive Man’ how could you not be a villain?”
“Look, when I get the paperwork straightened out, I’ll be The Paragon Hero.”  Expletive Man said putting the heroic reverb on the last part.
“The Paragon Hero rescued my cousin from the Trolls last week, and you ain’t him.” 
“No, you don’t understand …”  Expletive Man started
“The Paragon Hero saved me from the Circle.  How dare you steal his good name?”
“I was just using that name as an example …”  Expletive Man started again.
“The Paragon Hero will make an example out of you when he finds out that you have been using his name.”
“Ok, ok, I’ll be The Paragon of Paragon!”  Expletive Man said.
“The Paragon of Paragon stopped a bank robbery where my life savings are kept.  How dare you!”
“The Paragon of Paragon defeated that huge octopus in Independence Port, you worm.”
“No you see …”  Expletive Man started regretting getting into this conversation.
“Hey pal, why don’t you make a name for yourself, instead of using the names of other heroes?”
“Yeah, creep!”
They started to attack Expletive Man.  Interjection whistled and started taunting the crowd.  The crowd mindlessly started attacking Interjection.  Expletive Man stood up and dusted himself off.
“I wish these citizens would attack the Outcast like they attack me.”  Expletive Man stated.
“Go to the train, I’ll lose these guys and follow, let’s meet in Atlas.”  Interjection instructed.
“Right!”  Expletive Man said running for the train station.
“Hold it!”  Interjection cried after Expletive Man was out of sight.
“Why are you attacking me?”  Interjection asked.
“Well because you, said, ummmm.”
“Obvisously, because you”
“We don’t need a reason, because you are, ummm.”
“Go citizens, disperse, return to your homes”  Interjection said after he had turned off his taunt machine.
“Why were we attacking that guy?”
“Something to do, I guess.”
They all laughed.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2017, 04:43:19 AM »
It all started as a misunderstanding.  Now look at it.  Expletive Man and Interjection are on a huge team venturing into the sewer system of Paragon City in Atlas Park.  If that didn’t seem strange enough, Expletive Man is the team leader.

“Trust me, I’ve done this one lots of times.”  MereKatt purred.  MereKatt is a cat like humanoid female.  She is barely four foot tall, with a leopard print body suit and a cat’s tail.  The whiskers and cat ears on her head looked real enough, but who knows in this city.  She could be a nut in a cat suit or some sort of mutant girl cat thing.

“MereKatt is very good, but stay out of her way.  Those claws of hers are sharp.”  Dumbledolf commented.  Looking every bit a stage magician in his black suit, cape and top hat, Dumbledolf had the black handlebar mustache and spike goatee beard.  His white gloves and white ruffled shirt made him look completely out of place for hero work.

“Who invited Dumbledolf?”  A voice said.
“Who said that?”  Expletive Man said nervously.
“Oh, he’s always doing that.  Come out Jim.”  MereKatt giggled.
Suddenly a ninja holding a katana and dressed all in black from head to foot appeared.
“How did you do that?”  Interjection asked.
“Ancient secret of the ninja.”  Jim Beam said.
“Ancient secret, ha!  You’re no more Japanese than I am.”  MereKatt snapped.
“MereKatt, give me a break.”  Jim Beam said.
“So, what is your name, ninja man?”  Expletive Man asked.
“Jim Beam.”  Jim Beam answered.
“Jim Beam.”  Expletive Man laughed.
“I wouldn’t laugh, Expletive Man.”  Jim Beam said sternly.

“Oh, there you are.”  Hot Stuff shouted as she made her way closer to the team.  Hot Stuff in her skin tight body suit made her look very much a superhero.  The suit is black with red, yellow and orange flame artwork that left no doubt that she has something to do with fire.
“Hot Stuff, you look hot.”  Jim Beam steamed.
“Hello, Jim.  How have you Beam?”  Hot Stuff replied.
“Oh brother!”  Interjection winced at that lousy pun.
“It’s something they do, every time they get together.”  Dumbledolf commented.
“Hey, not everybody likes to just say, ‘Hello’, that’s boring.”  Hot Stuff replied.

“Oh look, it’s Hot Stuff; I told you this was the place.”  Thang One said.
“I don’t know, those other people look awfully strange.”  Thang Two said.
“Twin uniforms?”  MereKatt purred.
“Yes, one is a dominator and two is a defender.”  Hot Stuff replied.
“They both have Beam Rifles.”  Jim Beam stated.
Thang One and Thang Two indeed have matching uniforms.  A snazzy black body suit with atomic green strips on the chest adorned both.  The twin brothers, separated at birth, both became supers in Praetoria.  Thang One became a dominator using a Beam Rifle and Pain Domination.  Thang Two became a defender using Empathy and Beam Rifle.  Eventually they met, and an instant friendship was established.  They even changed their names and decided to always team together.  Since one was working with the resistance and the other was working for the loyalists, they decided to move to primal earth.  They have discovered that they are twin brothers.

“Thang One, Thang Two, welcome to the team.”  Expletive Man said.
“Now I know all the good names have been taken.”  Interjection interjected.
They all laughed.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2017, 03:19:00 AM »
“So what’s up?”  She asked as she juggled fire balls.
“We’re doing ‘Death From Below’.”  MereKatt stated.
“Oooooo, I like that one.”  Jim Beam interjected.
“I couldn’t care less what you people do, just as long as I get to show-off.”  Dumbledolf responded.
“Let’s get one thing straight…”  Expletive Man began.
“What?”  Thang One interrupted.
“No not Thang One, one thing.”  Interjection answered.
“Hey, don’t make fun of my brother!”  Thang Two threatened.
“Easy boys, don’t be so hot-headed.”  Hot Stuff commented.
“I’m not making fun of anyone...”  Expletive Man tried to explain.
“Or two.”  Jim Beam interrupted.
Expletive Man fired his rifle in the air to get his team’s attention.

“Nice Expletive Man, what was it that you were saying?”  Thang One asked.
“You don’t have to be so dramatic.”  MereKatt scolded.
“All I’m trying to do is tell you people that I’m in-charge, but this is a team.  Also, the door is across the street.  Let’s go.”  Expletive Man stated.
One by one they all entered the store-front looking building.  It was a dimensional door-way that led to an underground storm sewer.
“I hate it when it looks like an office on the outside and is a sewer on the inside.”  Dumbledolf stated.
“What a dump.”  Hot Stuff commented.

The green slime growing in the water canals and the moss covered tunnels, added to the sense of foreboding.  They knew that something was going to happen in these dingy tunnels, but what.
“I’m scared.”  Jim Beam said turning invisible.
“There’s no need to be scared,” MereKatt said deploying her claws, “as long as I’m here.”
“Did I introduce my friends?”  Dumbledolf said as he conjured up an army of phantom warriors.
“Who are those guys?”  Interjection asked.
“They are my phantom army.”  Dumbledolf said proudly and with flourish.
“Three guys is hardly an army.”  Thang Two chuckled.
“Well, the sun was in my eyes, the others didn’t want to come into a sewer, it’s bigger than your army, besides---what they lack in numbers; they make up in skill.”  Dumbledolf rattled looking for an excuse.
“Excuses, excuses.”  Interjection said.
“Excuses are like noses, everybody has got one and they smell.”  Hot Stuff replied.
They all laughed.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #12 on: August 03, 2017, 02:14:22 AM »
As the group stood there wondering which way to go and what to do next, Hot Stuff had a brilliant idea.
“Want some hot stuff!”  Hot Stuff cried.
“Oh, that’s your battle cry.”  MereKatt exclaimed.
“Hocus Pocus, Alakazam!”  Dumbledolf shouted.
“Let me beam you up.”  Thang One asserted bringing his beam rifle to ready.
“Gather for buffs!”  Thang Two exclaimed.
“That’s your battle cry?”  Hot Stuff asked.
“Well, I say it so often, it might as well be.”  Thang Two commented.
“This is an injection intersection!”  Interjection interjected.
The team glared at him.
“I know, it needs work.”  Interjection admitted.
“Let’s do this.”  MereKatt shouted extending her claws.
“<Expletive redacted>!”  Expletive Man boomed.
The team looked shocked and stunned at such foul language.
“What did you expect?”  Expletive Man replied.
“I don’t even have a bad battle cry.”  Jim Beam said.
“Why not?”  MereKatt asked.
“I sneak into battle.  I can’t very well go running about shouting a bunch of non-sense.”  Jim Beam explained.
“Well no, I guess not.”  MereKatt remarked.

“Are you ready for me to amaze and astonish you?”  Dumbledolf asked.
“No, no, not really.”  The team murmured.
“I think he means, it’s HBO!”  MereKatt announced.
“What?”  Interjection asked confused.
“Oh, he-he, I get it.”  Hot Stuff giggled.
“Come on, it’s show time.”  Expletive Man said and started walking down the tunnel.
The team followed their intrepid leader into the smelly, slime-covered, cob-web riddled storm sewer.  They each have only one thing on their minds.  What would be a clever battle cry for Interjection.
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Re: All The Good Names Were Taken
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2017, 03:48:18 AM »
“Anyway, this dufus is standing right outside the Hollows asking where it was.  I about died.”  MereKatt confessed.
“Noobs.”  Hot Stuff replied.
“Uh-huh.”  MereKatt agreed.
“Hey, knock off the chatter; we’re trying to sneak up on them.” Jim Beam scolded.
“On turn invisible already.”  MereKatt shot back.

“I heard about that guy who was looking for the Hollows.”  Thang One said.
“It would be funny, but the sign outside of the Hollows does say ‘Eastgate Park’.”  Thang Two said.
“Oh, that’s right.  They should tell new people what’s what.”  Interjection suggested.
“Well, to be fair, if you are paying attention when your contact sends you to help in the Hollows, they do tell you that it used to be Eastgate Park.”  Dumbledolf explained.
“The Hollows was one of my favorite zones in the city, but I wanted to more on to bigger and better things.  And now I’m in a sewer.”  Jim Beam complained.

“I don’t know, I kind of like the sewer.”  Expletive Man admitted.
“You would.”  Hot Stuff fired back.
“Just for giggles, this next room, kill everything before killing their boss.”  Dumbledolf suggested.
“That sounds like a challenge.”  Thang Two said excited.
“How will we know who the boss is?”  Interjection asked.
“He’ll be the big bad-ass.”  Expletive Man replied.
“You had me at ‘Kill Everything’.”  MereKatt laughed extending her claws.

The team walked into the room.  In the middle of the room was a bridge.  On the bridge stood the meanest looking Hellions they had ever seen.  The room seemed to be full of every kind of Hellion there is, and then some.  The team froze in their tracks. Silent for a long moment drinking in all the baddies stuffed in this place.
“Like we rehearsed it, remember, I gather a group together and you whale on their asses.”  Interjection broke the silence.
“Com’on, we can do this.”  Expletive Man said and they went to their places waiting for interjection to bring a group to them.

“You know, ‘Like we rehearsed it’ isn’t a have bad battle-cry.”  Hot stuff remarked.
“Ok, tell interjection, when he gets back.”  Thang One said.
They all laughed.
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