For me, that was when I knew that... City of Heroes is more than just an MMO, it's not just a community either... it is a (virtual) city of (real) heroes.
-Now, to hope the guy I'm talking about doesn't see this, 'cause he might kill me. >.>
...as the guy IN this story, all I can add is that I echo Zolgar's sentiments.
I'm Grimm. Hawthorne Grimm, to those who know me over on Virtue. There are those who hate me, and those who--for some weird reason--adore me, same as any of us.
This community has actually saved me more than once, and I'm not sure it even knows it. You see, I tend to have a very 'villain' mindset. Not in a 'I enjoy making people suffer and breaking the law' sort of way, but my first reaction to a problem is to get angry at it, channel that rage, and utterly annihilate whatever has drawn my ire. It's a very proactive outlook, it's helped me a few times, but there's one area it just hangs on my neck like an albatross forged of Impervium: social interaction. People.
I don't handle people well, socially. I can analyze someone and determine the best way to manipulate or influence them, but that's not really 'handling someone,' that's kind of being an emotionless d-bag. It makes me a great salesman, but a terrible friend most of the time. You see, I'm also in the autism spectrum; specifically, I have Asperger's. I don't "get" people on that instinctual, empathic level most of you do.
So my initial reaction to a difficult challenge, to dig in my heels and smack the crap out of it(metaphorically speaking) doesn't really work with people. City of Heroes showed me there are people out there who understand, people who don't care about my failings and value me anyway. Friends. -Family,- in the truest sense of the word and not just biological, genetic derivative. I'm honestly not sure I'd be alive right now, without that.
You see, I also believe I have undiagnosed clinical depression. I don't think I need to spell out what comes with that territory. Dark thoughts, horribly self-destructive impulses. City of Heroes anchored me. Gave me purpose. It helped me take those dark, awful feelings and wrangle them into the light, then obliterate them with roleplay, or just a really good Task Force surrounded by good people.
This was the first time City of Heroes saved me.
The second, is the story Zolgar told. That was the day it was cemented, in my heart, in my mind, in my very
soul that Paragon City was more home to me than any physical place I'd ever lived in. The people of Paragon City, this virtual world, were the kind of people I wanted as my neighbors. They were, and still are, my true family.
The third is more recent...and perhaps, still an act in progress, but I'll get to that in a bit. There's one side-story I'd like to tell, just another reason City is so important to me.
The Incarnate powers had just released. The Alpha slot, the new shiny, was brought forth to the world of City of Heroes. Every villain, every hero, and all points in-between scrambled to obtain the new powers for themselves as friends and enemies did likewise. My original surviving character, Hawthorne Grimm, stepped up to earn his Alpha boost as well. It took some time, but I had almost all of the pieces together. I needed one last component, and some spare shards. A Lady Grey Task Force would give me what I needed, but it was late at night. I broadcast for help over The Cape Radio's global channel. Several people answered the call, but two note worthy individuals still stand out. @Aelya, better known as Ridia Bledpetal aka DJ Anarchy of The Cape Radio; and Ren Inferno. I'd seen both around, but not really interacted with them heavily until that night. I now consider both to be good friends.
I was building the team, and we needed control. So I hit the search function. I need to pause here, because I need to go off on one final tangent. (I know, I know. Almost need a bloody flow chart for this thing, right? Sorry!)
I'm an aspiring writer. My chosen genre is urban fantasy. I love the mix of mundane, modern elements with that extra special spice only the truly fantastic can give us. Perhaps that's why I adore superheroes so much. There are many great authors in this genre already, and I like most of them, but one in particular has inspired me to keep writing, and keep trying. One author touches my mind and sparks my muse more than any other, and that author is Jim Butcher. I could gush all day about how awesome The Dresden Files are, but it's better if I just sum it up: I'm a big fan.
So imagine my surprise, when I saw Harry Dresden, a level 50 Controller, show up on my search for a control AT. I had learned, previously, that Jim Butcher played CoH intermittently, and as Harry, but I remained skeptical. I checked their global handle, which (roughly) matched the player name. I nearly stopped breathing from excitement. I took a few breaths, and somehow managed to type a coherent private message to my
hero and inspiration, asking if he would be interested in joining us. While he initially declined, he later pinged me back and asked if we still needed control. I about passed out from shock, and miraculously managed a coherent reply to the affirmative and invited him.
The TF went relatively quickly until Hamidon. Harry was our only controller, so it was understandable that the fight took us a bit. We persevered, however, and emerged victorious. It is worth noting that most of us were in character for portions of this Task Force. We finished the Task Force, and I obtained the final piece of Incarnate salvage I needed. I crafted, and then slotted, my oldest surviving character's Alpha boost, achieving proper Incarnate status, because of my literary hero's assistance while playing as my favorite character of his.
Harry Dresden made me Incarnate.I'll carry the memory of that night with me to my
grave. City of Heroes let me spend time with my hero, my inspiration, punching evil in the face for great and glorious justice. From that night came two great friendships, and those friendships are directly responsible for the story Zolgar told.
The third time...is when City helped save me from myself. Sort of. Or rather, it's still trying to save me from myself. Two weeks ago, we were all informed that our virtual world was ending. Grimmy went down a very, very, very dark hole. Remember that whole 'get angry, smash' reaction? Yeah. Except, I had nothing to smash. I couldn't very well go kick down NCSoft's door, no matter how much I might have entertained the idea. I was dwelling in the negative, curling in on myself. I would have made a Sith stop and go "Dude, that's a little extreme."
And someone
did call me on it. It went about as poorly as one could predict, and Grimmy made a complete ass of himself, in predictable fashion. It looked like I was going to just fade into the depression and anger. Then last Saturday, the Unity Rally happened. I never expected that kind of a turn out. Thirty-three instances of Atlas Park? You people are amazing! Virtue,
full? Multiple servers showing login queues as we continued to generate multiple instances of Atlas Park on multiple servers?
...and I realized...this wasn't an enemy you seek out and destroy. This wasn't an enemy that negativity, anger, hatred, or depression could defeat. It would require a new strength, a different kind of strength. The strength of a hero. An entire community came together and stood on the steps of
their City Hall, and I stood with them.
For the first time in a long time, I'm fighting that negativity and trying to draw strength from other sources. The determination to stand our ground, to never give up hope, and the knowledge that if we falter or fail, our strength of will cannot be broken. We are not alone. We do not stand against the darkness by ourselves. We have an entire city to back us, a city brought together by the developers, a city made welcome by the community relations team, but a city given life by us, the players. A City of Heroes.
I am proud to stand among you. We are heroes. This is what we do.
