If I could grade your English teacher, I would give him or her an F.
In any case, thanks for sharing your ideas, but I could never see that happening. Why? Well, for one thing most of your suggestions are (as you put it), a crazy, wild fantasy. Definitely with an emphasis on crazy.
Don't get me wrong though, history is plenty full of crazy ideas that worked, but if I had to take a guess, most of them more often than not have failed.