Author Topic: The Corner Store  (Read 27704 times)

Golden Ace

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The Corner Store
« on: December 08, 2012, 09:43:19 PM »
Welcome to the Corner Store we've recently moved to a new location, it appears it appears my fire sale got out of hand and we had to look for a new building.   We still have all your favorite sections and merchandise, and the same prices you have grown to know and love. 

We have a malt shop right inside the door (to the left), a hardware section that has everything, a post office, and of course a staff of loyal employees who would never think of short changing you (I train them to do it without thinking).

Right out front we have a couple of benches to sit and gossip on along with a couple of wooden rocking chairs (right next to the Wooden Indian trying to sell cigars, and a wooden Scotsman begging drinks). To the right we have an old fashion Barbershop, run by an old gentleman with the affectionate nickname of "Chainsaw", right next to Chainsaw’s old fashion barbershop is Sugar and Spice's Everything Nice Beauty Salon and Spa (Hair Nails, and Accessories). What the hell is an Accessory?

Behind the counter we have a shelf filled with extremely precarious odds and ends, a few items from unrealized world conquest plans etc... Most notable are Kato's Driving Hat and Mask, a The Scarf of a Time Lord, (No he can’t have it back),  the infamous Shatner wig (it also has a tendency to escape and attach itself to people’s heads and search for green women so we’ve nailed it to the shelf), what appears to be a simple snow globe, a Portable Hole and a Pink Tutu once worn by a Ninja, don't worry everything is under lock and key. I spared no expense getting an old used bicycle lock to lock them up because if they got into the wrong hands anything could happen. C’mon by! The first Ice Creams on me. 

*Places sign up on wall above cash register*

Golden_Ace - n - patron saint of capitalism and spendthrifts, is the physical manifestation of one of the four guiding spirits of the Forum Games section, that of Greed. Rumored to be "the reason Communism was invented" due to price gouging so extreme, the proletariat was forced to unite to buy food.


Kuriositys Kat

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2012, 07:52:51 AM »
*pushing her sunglasses up, KK enters the store and turns left approaching the Malt Shop* 

 "May I please have a large Malted?  It is over 82 F where I just came from and I am parched!"
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do!" - The Doctor

healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2012, 10:32:32 AM »


The store is back!!! The store is back! This is where I bought my first paint-by-number color tv set, and matching straight jakets for Aunt Zula and Uncle Wilmer!


*looks around*

*fills shopping cart*

Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Golden Ace

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2012, 03:24:36 PM »
*Takes offered Tip and Charges everything to Healix's credit card including Kat's malt, building maintenance fees, rent, gas, electricity, moving fee and service charge*

As the first customers in our new location I've instituted new better than before prices just for you! 

*Grabs Toupee and nails it back down again*

Welcome!

edit:  it appears your credit card has been over drawn.  I'm going to need another one, or five...

We have a non-return policy, and seeings as you can't pay, I'm afraid you are going to have to work off the remainder.

*gives official corner store uniform*

*Adds additional charge to employee tab*

Get to work!

That lady over there wants a Malted!

and since I'm not the one making it for her make sure you charge her for it!
« Last Edit: December 09, 2012, 03:51:07 PM by Golden Ace »

Vyx

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2012, 11:56:35 PM »
I really wouldn't trust you with a card of any form, especially after that last time at band camp when you did that thing you did, and yeah. I can't talk about the rest of it because it... well yah. And I still don't trust those M&M's you sent me, how long ago now?

Good to see you over here sir. :)
Huron: "...with Coffee primary / Attitude secondary"
Charnage: "Please. Think of the poor, defenseless desks."
Mentalshock: "Apocalypse has been canceled due to lack of interest."

"The Babylon Project was our last, best hope for peace. She failed... In the year of the Praetorian War, she became something greater... our last, best hope for victory."

Kuriositys Kat

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2012, 12:27:48 AM »
*eyes the Malted set in front of her by Healix*  "Should I've checked the prices before  I ordered?
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do!" - The Doctor

Golden Ace

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2012, 02:00:54 AM »
I really wouldn't trust you with a card of any form, especially after that last time at band camp when you did that thing you did, and yeah. I can't talk about the rest of it because it... well yah. And I still don't trust those M&M's you sent me, how long ago now?

Good to see you over here sir. :)

*sigh*

Nobody ate the M&M's  :(

I know, because had you we wouldn't be having this conversation.  *nod nod*

What was that? 4 or 5 years ago?

have all the cards done but 3.  all addressed and stamped just have to drop them off tomorrow.

More people this year,  and postage is more expensive.  so no candy. :(

did you see my Jibjab video?

Golden Ace

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2012, 02:04:14 AM »
*eyes the Malted set in front of her by Healix*  "Should I've checked the prices before  I ordered?

No returns. 

Drink your malted and get to work.

*gives official corner store uniform*

*Adds uniform charge to employee tab*

*Marks down unauthorized break for employee, adds penalty to employee tab*


Ad_Astra

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2012, 04:36:10 AM »
Excuse me, goos shopkeeper, but do you have any ChrisHannuKwanzFestivus cards? I'm looking for some with baby fur seals on the front.

healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2012, 09:41:42 AM »
Would you like the regular or the deluxe set which includes Santa wearing a red and green yarmulke while eating corn on the cob?
*adjusts uniform*
Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Golden Ace

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2012, 10:35:41 PM »
always charge them for the deluxe set.   >:(

Ad_Astra

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2012, 12:59:50 AM »
Would you like the regular or the deluxe set which includes Santa wearing a red and green yarmulke while eating corn on the cob?
*adjusts uniform*

No thank you. I need the more traditional ones with baby fur seals playing polo....

Oohh, Twinkies!

healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2012, 08:31:56 AM »
*sneaks into the back room...cuts more yellow spongecake into Twinkie shapes...fills with whipped cream....lables them as 'Twinkies'...goes back out front*
 *hands Ad_Astra the cards* Here you go...they are playing water polo.

Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Kuriositys Kat

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #13 on: December 11, 2012, 01:16:48 PM »
*sneaks quick peek at employee tab- blanches then realizes NO WAY Possible to pay it off,  shrugs*

"Hey Boss I am just going to hang the decorations. Yes I will "clean" them before  I hang them"

*Heads to back room and gets ladder and  box of  Halloween decorations, a little work and they become the ChrisHannuKwanzFestivus decorations*
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do!" - The Doctor

Ad_Astra

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2012, 11:48:11 PM »
How clever - your ChrisHannuKwanzFestivus decorations look like sparkly little spider webs - do you have any of them for sale?

Golden Ace

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2012, 02:25:01 AM »
Why yes of course we we have some for sale.  Mind you each and every piece you see is a priceless hand crafted piece of art with great sentimental value.
I can sell you the ones we have on display, or I can have one of our certified in-store artists produce you your own unique hand crafted ChrisHannuKwanzFestivus piece.  Of course since you are so keenly interested in them, and I can tell you will treat the pieces well, I'm going to offer you special corner store pricing if you order before the ChrisHannuKwanzFestivus candle lighting and ritual mummification ceremony.

I can tell you right now you will be very pleased with your one of a kind hand crafted ChrisHannuKwanzFestivus pieces.  Can I put you down for several dozen?


healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2012, 03:14:49 AM »
Just remember the fruit cakes don't NEED mummification, and they do make wonderful doorstops and hockey pucks!





Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Kuriositys Kat

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2012, 07:13:35 AM »
And the round ones make even better hockey pucks plus you can use them in cannons!

*whistles "Yo, Ho Ho" as she starts to make Ad_Astra's order*
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do!" - The Doctor

healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #18 on: December 13, 2012, 08:46:55 AM »
*peers over Kat's shoulder at her crafted ChrisHannuKwanzFestivus decorations*

OOOOOO,,,sparkly!
Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Ad_Astra

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #19 on: December 14, 2012, 12:02:01 AM »
Really, really sparkly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6QtigLJD_4

I almost forgot the turkey gravy and cranberry sauce.