[[OMGAHHHHHHFHFHGHGHGHHHHHHHHH.... ~Agge]]

[Joshex]

dear titan network, I come today to bring you a fair warning, tortilla chips over 8 years old spawn a living toxin, the scent and flavor is musky and strong.

upon consumption mild indigestion occurs only to subside for serveral hours after which the fever hits, soon you will have diarrhea and become delerious, next the toxin will reproduce in a watery mass in your bowels and your delerium will cause you to passout, when you wake up you may feel like you need to vomit but you wont, instead you will look forwards to repeat visits to the toilet for increasingly more intensive diarrhea.

stay tuned for a progress report on the symptoms to come and how quickly or long you can expect to gain relief.

in the mean time I again warn DO NOT eat tortilla chips that are over 8 years old, even 3 years old is probably not a good idea.

[[EDIT: FIXED TITLE OMGAHHHHHHGHGHGHGHHHHHH ~Agge]]

[houtex]

diarrhea*

He's comin' up to bat, and his pants are gettin' fat
Diarrhea uh uh, Diarrhea uh uh.

He's runnin' on to first, and his pants just want to burst
Diarrhea uh uh, Diarrhea uh uh.

He's goin' round to second, and he needs a disinfectant
Diarrhea uh uh, Diarrhea uh uh.

He's comin' up to third, and he wishes it was a t***
Diarrhea uh uh, Diarrhea uh uh.

He's comin' on to home, and his pants have got some foam
Diarrhea uh uh, Diarrhea uh uh.

You may think it's funny, but it's really brown and runny
Diarrhea uh uh, Diarrhea uh uh.

/Right.  Juvenile toilet humor expunged.  Now I feel better.
//On a personal note... sympathize, Josh.  I can't eat onions, garlic, bell peppers, or chiles ever again, or I get this reaction.  Fully two days you might see me again.  Ugh.  Be strong and drink fluids.

[Tenzhi]

dear titan network, I come today to bring you a fair warning, tortilla chips over 8 years old spawn a living toxin, the scent and flavor is musky and strong.

So, the chips being 8 years old and smelling/tasting wrong wasn't warning enough to keep one from eating them?

I hope you get better ASAP, but if it didn't sound like you were being punished more than enough I'd suggest having someone smack you upside the head once or twice. ;P

[Taceus Jiwede]

Lol that's pretty funny Joshex.  Although I think generally speaking as a rule of thumb you shouldn't eat anything 8 years old, you'll probably get sick.

[dwturducken]

I had to re-read that three times before I figured out you weren't feeding chips to an 8 year old.

[Captain Electric]

Wait, Joshex is eating eight year-olds? LOL what will he think of next? Crazy guy.

But seriously. Wanna meet my nephew?

[Turjan]

Better watch out - he'll wind up getting super toxin powers off those toritilla chips and come back here posting as El Imentary, a supervillain with a colon hell bent on world domination!

[dwturducken]

I don't know about anyone else, but, when my colon goes all supervillainy, it's more like it's hell-bent on eradicating all life and terraforming the planet for its own kind...

Just sayin'.

[Arachnion]

Oh Joshex.

Shine on, you crazy diamond you.

[Joshex]

dreams were crazy last night and long, body didn't want to let me wake up. stomach seems ok for now but I can tell theres still something there..

I didn;t know the chips were that old lol, I saw an open (and clipped) bag of tortilla chips on top of my grandad's fridge, I had just had tacos the previosu night and there was some leftovers but no shells, so I thought I'd have a taco salad, and I was hungry, like super hungry.

so, I ate them, and then I paid the price. I told my gradad about them and put them ontop of the garbage can. guess what? they are back ontop of the fridge now!

still have a mild fever, head is spinny

[houtex]

Better watch out - he'll wind up getting super toxin powers off those toritilla chips and come back here posting as El Imentary, a supervillain with a colon hell bent on world domination!

An evil Spleen.  Nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9rBv4Dn3Bk

[TriNitroToluene]

Perhaps, when you feel better, you should just throw them away for ole gramps.  Frugality can be a double-edged sword.

[Joshex]

Perhaps, when you feel better, you should just throw them away for ole gramps.  Frugality can be a double-edged sword.

yeah as soon as I was better I dumped them out. I'll not eat those agian lol.

[houtex]

Wait... if you didn't throw them out, you might have eaten them again?  'Cause that's what it sounded like. 

Although, to be honest, when I'm devouring a bag of chips I shouldn't, and I realize I have had enough, and I *really* need to not eat them anymore... into the trash.  I won't dig 'em out, so they're like poison at that point.

So... I call good strategy on throwing them out.  Less temptation that way.

/em thumbsup

[Mister Bison]

[Achievement: Joshex has Bow(e)ls of steel !]

Though, Joshex, you could use some dicernment. You could kill yourself with such things. Don't underestimate rotten food.

But while I knew that, (well, I think i do,) thanks for the warning.

[dwturducken]

I was tempted to make a Double Flusher badge, but I just couldn't get wording that wasn't a terrible punfest.

[Ironwolf]

Mercy Flush badge.

[Hyperstrike]

Scrubbin' bubbles
FER PEOPLE!


And don't put them ON TOP of the garbage can.
Put them IN the garbage can!

[healix]

[Aggelakis]

I love how his fingers don't even touch his tongue and he starts wiggin' out. Tennant<3

[Joshex]

yes I really want to post in this topic even though it's been over 10 days. seems I ignore that red text all the time.

anyways, update.

Cause of effects;

my grandad has been physically unable to clean his house for some time, he had a special air filtering system installed so there would be no dust. and he hired a cleaning woman.

thing is, he didn't hire the cleaning lady through a maid service, one of his elderly lady friends needed some extra money and was running her own maid service. so he hired an elderly lady to do his cleaning. she could barely get on her knees to clean things below waist level, and it was obvious that her eye sight was poor, when she finished cleaning the counters were speckled with black grit.

and then the chemicals, maybe you're starting to put 2 and 2 together now, or maybe you need to read on.

The cleaning lady cleaned his house with Amonia. yeah deadly stuff if inhaled or ingested.

further more being elderly she didn;t take time to move things when she wiped everything down with a cloth soaked in amonia, so she carelessly wiped down the bags on top of the fridge with amonia.

do you know what happens to plastic bags when amonia contacts them? I'm sure most people here are smart enough to know it eats through the plastic and biodigrades it leaving behind a toxic dust-like residue both outside and inside the bag.

now you know the full story of why the bag of cornchips did what it did to my digestive tract. I am lucky to be alive.

[JaguarX]

Be careful with those toxic materials.

Thousands of people die a year from eating something either contaminated with chemicals or bacteria.

I don't need you as a statistic on my spreadsheet!

[Super Firebug]

I hadn't heard about ammonia being toxic by itself, or reacting with plastic. But I have heard that mixing ammonia with bleach produces something akin to World War I's mustard gas. And, since cat urine contains ammonia, you never use bleach to clean a litter box.

[JaguarX]

I hadn't heard about ammonia being toxic by itself, or reacting with plastic. But I have heard that mixing ammonia with bleach produces something akin to World War I's mustard gas. And, since cat urine contains ammonia, you never use bleach to clean a litter box.

Well the chemical reaction causes toxic chloramines to be released.. If excess of ammonia is used, Hydrazine in a liquid form may be created too. DO NOT SMOKE AROUND HYRDRAZINE! And it's highly toxic. Not ot mention hydrochloric acid vapor which causes the irritation to the lungs and eyes, chlorine gas (dangerous) and actually water. Now if more bleach is added to the ammonia Nitrogen Trichloride may be formed.

Ever notice how the bleach/ammonia mixture heats up by itself? Careful though there have been cases of small "explosions" creating splash. Now it you use a ammonia and sodium hypochlorite or some other purer form of chlorine-things get real interesting. Sometimes a bit too interesting so don't try it.

It depends on what the plastic is made out of. Most plastics do fine with ammonia, some cloud up and others break down but usually not due to the plastic itself but the other stuff that is used to preserve and make the plastic.

[Minotaur]

Well the chemical reaction causes toxic chloramines to be released.. If excess of ammonia is used, Hydrazine in a liquid form may be created too. DO NOT SMOKE AROUND HYRDRAZINE! And it's highly toxic. Not ot mention hydrochloric acid vapor which causes the irritation to the lungs and eyes, chlorine gas (dangerous) and actually water. Now if more bleach is added to the ammonia Nitrogen Trichloride may be formed.

Ever notice how the bleach/ammonia mixture heats up by itself? Careful though there have been cases of small "explosions" creating splash. Now it you use a ammonia and sodium hypochlorite or some other purer form of chlorine-things get real interesting. Sometimes a bit too interesting so don't try it.

It depends on what the plastic is made out of. Most plastics do fine with ammonia, some cloud up and others break down but usually not due to the plastic itself but the other stuff that is used to preserve and make the plastic.

The other classic is the number of people that inadvertently blow up their toilets by using bleach and toilet cleaner, hypochlorites in bleach react with acid in toilet cleaner to make explosive oxides of chlorine.

[OzonePrime]

Not to mention those whose combine bleach with chlorinated cleansers (ie. Comet)

[Tacitala]

thing is, he didn't hire the cleaning lady through a maid service, one of his elderly lady friends needed some extra money and was running her own maid service.

My step-mom tried that for a while (save for the fact that she did a thorough job).  Like the older woman in the story (who may not be too far off from her age all things considered) she mostly relied on ammonia.  It used to be one of the go to cleaning chemical for housewives.

Th reason she got out of the doing the jobs was not knowing the bleach plus ammonia reaction- she got hired to clean up an empty house where someone had kept their (heavily flee infested) dogs in a garage while they were at work.  So she went to use ammonia to clean- but it "wasn't working" so she had to use a lot (several bottles).  Then she ran out which lead to her daughter suggesting just using a gallon of bleach rather than stop to buy more.  They had to call in the fire department (who were more than happy to explain why that was a bad idea.

Perhaps you should insure that your grandfather has someone who can do a thorough cleaning once a week.  He could keep his friend as his main "cleaning gal" and you could bring in someone to do the "heavy cleaning" so she doesn't have to.  (List washing the windows as one of those jobs- it was once a pain to clean windows so people still think of it as a horrible job to do).